The Job Interview

It’s been a while since I’ve had a job interview. I’m not cut out for 9 to 5 life, and kind of disreputable after my spectacular exit from my last job. I’d seen an ad for a company called Kronos and sent them my CV. Now they’re offering a virtual interview.

I’m a little nervous; I can’t find much information about the role, or the company.

I’m all set up for the video conference, and the interviewer’s webcam is misaligned. Their face is out of shot, and focussed on the Persian cat sitting on their lap.

“Good morning Mr Roberts,” he says with a smooth voice and an accent I cannot determine, “I’ve been expecting you.”

“Nice to meet you.” I try to keep a straight face, “Thank you for taking the time to see me. I’ve been intrigued by your employment packages. What kind of company is Kronos? I couldn’t find much while researching you.”

“We diversify into all manner of fields. Our biggest is tourism. We operate companies in London, New York, Hong Kong, Mumbai, St Petersburg, and Cairo. If you’re successful, you’ll be based at our head office in the South Pacific.”

“Wow,” I say, “Sounds like an impressive empire. Are you seeking to expand further?”

“Oh, we intend to go worldwide.”

“Considering the political climate, it’ll be nice to get away for a bit.”

“I understand that you were dismissed from your last job, and then took some time out to go to university.”

“That’s correct.”

“Your background is in finance, but your degree is in Creative Writing.”

“Yes, I wanted to expand my creative network and dedicate more time to what I enjoyed.”

“And you’ve listed table-top roleplaying games as your hobbies. I bet you love designing lairs for players to go through.”

I can’t help but laugh.

“You’re a role-player too? Yes, I love designing lairs.”

“I think you’ll fit in nicely,” the interviewer says, “You’re smartly dressed for this interview. Don’t worry; we provide uniforms at the site. Boiler suits, specifically.”

I feel my heart race. It’s looking hopeful.

“One final question, to gauge creative thinking; if you’re a villain and have captured a secret agent, what kind of death-trap would you put them in?”

“I’d probably just shoot them,” I’d say.

The video screen goes black. Something tells me they won’t be in touch.