Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Well, I've finally been able to see the new Star Wars film, and boy is it a great one!

Here's the rundown: Taking place 30 years after Return of the Jedi, Luke Skywalker has vanished, the New Republic is being threatened by an Imperial remnant known as The First Order, but are being countered by The Resistance led by General Leia. On the desert world of Jakku, a map showing Luke's whereabouts is entrusted to the droid BB-8, who eludes the First Order's Stormtroopers led by Kylo Ren, who looks a little bit like Revan from Knights of the Old Republic.

Anyway, BB-8 ends up with the new young heroes of the series: A reformed First Order Stormtrooper called Finn, and a young scavenger called Rey. When the First Order closes in, they are forced to steal a second-hand ship which turns out to be the legendary Millennium Falcon. This promptly reunites them with Han Solo and Chewbacca, who have gone back to smuggling.

Story-wise, the film does seem to be a rehash of A New Hope, but I'd make the argument that it was what people wanted. The new protagonists are very likeable characters, and the old-timers of the previous trilogy are equally good. I think the key word here would be balance. A balance between old timers, and newcomers, humour and drama, along with practical effects and CGI.

I'm going to be very minimalist with this, as revealing any more will spoil some major things. As mentioned above, the film does recycle elements from A New Hope, but don't let that dissuade you, as there are still plenty of surprises. Anybody who has seen the film will know what I'm talking about. Overall, it is the cinematic experience of a Star Wars film updated for the modern age, done properly this time.

Or as Han put it: "Chewie, we're home."

Franchise Reviews: Return of the Jedi

I'd have to say right now that this is the film I like the least within the classic trilogy. But does that mean I hate it? Not at all. But there are some major problems that are hard to ignore.

Let's address the main one; the stories. Yes, there are two stories in this film which have little to do with each other.  The stories aren't bad, they're just distant.

The first part sort of picks up where the last film ended, with Luke and his friends trying to rescue Han Solo from the crime boss Jabba the Hutt. I do love the visuals and low lighting within Jabba's palace, where he lives like some kind of medieval robber-baron. Lando is already undercover, Luke offers him his droids as a goodwill present, while Leia poses as a bounty hunter and hands over Chewie to gain access to Han. When her cover is blown and she is made a slave, Luke comes in himself but is also captured after defeating one large beast, and is then scheduled to be fed to another. However, he is confident that he can escape, so I can't really tell whether he's improvising or planned a capture from the beginning. But it means we get one man-on-monster deathmatch followed by an all-out brawl with Jabba's goons. When you get down to it, you just need to have some action.

After that somewhat lengthy diversion, the main story begins. The Rebels have discovered that the Empire is building a new Death Star, and the Emperor himself is overseeing the construction, now the battle is on to end this war once and for all. Han leads a commando team to a forest moon to destroy a shield generator protecting the Death Star so Lando can lead a space assault. Meanwhile, Luke travels to the Death Star with Darth Vader in the hopes of turning who is now revealed to be his father. There, he meets the Emperor, who seeks to corrupt him. This results in the action being divided into three parts: The duel between Luke and Vader; the space battle; and the land battle where the Rebels are aided by a group of teddy bears.

Wait, what?

I'm with a lot of fans that the Ewoks were a kind of stupid addition to the climax with a less-than-subtle environmental message. But to give them some credit, they are kind of resourceful, and they do hold their own against the Empire. Besides, I watched Pom Poko, so I can't really complain.

In conclusion, Return of the Jedi is by no means a bad film, but it's not the great follow-up to The Empire Strikes Back, although that's a hard act to follow. Nonetheless, the action is still great, the characters are memorable, and they do get some truly emotional scenes.

Of course, killing the Emperor would not mean the war would end. So naturally, there is room for more films (not prequels). I'll talk about The Force Awakens when I can get tickets for it.

See you then, and may the Force be with you. (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist)

Franchise Reviews: The Empire Strikes Back

This is one of those sequels that is a significant improvement over the previous instalment, and is not just my favourite film in the franchise but also one of my favourite films of all time.

Taking place some time after the previous film (three years, according to Wookiepedia), the Rebel Alliance is on the run, being relentlessly pursued by the Empire. Their new headquarters on the ice world of Hoth has been overrun, and Luke Skywalker has been separated from his friends, travelling to a swamp planet with R2D2 with the intention of learning the ways of the Force from a Muppet called Yoda. Meanwhile, Han, Chewie, Leia, and C3P0 are attempting to escape the Imperial fleet while searching for a safe haven.

I think this film works because of the low point the heroes are in. After a spectacular land battle in which the Rebels are routed, you want to follow them as they try to escape. Wherever they go, Darth Vader is always behind them, never letting up. Even an old friend of Han's betrays them to the Empire. Meanwhile, Luke's training with Yoda explores the fantastical aspects of the world, and his impulse to save his friends could put him on the beginning of a dark path.

And that's all I really have to say. There's not that much I can really fault.

Well, that was short and sweet.

Franchise Reviews: Star Wars - A New Hope

Well, I figured I might as well start with the first movie. And by that I mean A New Hope, or just Star Wars for the those purists out there.

I think everything about this movie has been said. There's a war between a Rebel Alliance and the Galactic Empire, the Empire has a WMD called the Death Star, and the rebels have managed to steal the data tapes for it. Did I mention this was the Seventies?

Anyway, Princess Leia (played by Carrie Fisher) is about to get captured by the sinister Darth Vader and entrusts the plans to C3P0 and R2D2, a pair of bickering robots who end up in the possession of Luke Skywalker, a young farmer played by Mark Hamill. Luke embarks on a quest to bring the plans to the Alliance with the help of the old mentor figure Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness), cynical smuggler Han Solo (Harrison Ford), and his co-pilot Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew).

Despite the relatively simple plot, this film came out at a time when Hollywood's creative classes had the most creative control, yet it stood out amongst the rest. The Escapist's film critic Bob Chipman described this film as 'a bizarre dream project which combined mythic fantasy, samurai melodrama and pulp sci-fi". But does it hold up? I think so, despite a couple of flaws, most of which is nitpicking, but I'll try and go for the most glaring issues. Luke does get a bit whiny at times and Leia's British accent seems a bit off (definitely Liverpool). Plus, she does seem to take that whole "planet being destroyed" business rather well (which was satirised in Robot Chicken). Not to mention that C3P0 seems to make a couple of stupid choices, but I suppose he's out of his element. George Lucas is both writing and directing this one, so the acting and dialogue is wooden at times, but there are still plenty of notable quotables.

Then again, I love the imagination, with the ship designs and the aliens in Mos Eisley, and the main characters are suitably heroic to keep me interested. Not to mention there is some great action scenes, whether it's Luke and Han blundering their way through the Death Star to rescue Leia, or the climactic space battle at the end. That trench run scene always feels tense every time I watch it.

I suppose I'm letting nostalgia take up too much of this. Then again, the fact that such an experimental film with a cast of virtual unknowns (with the exception of Alec Guinness and Peter Cushing) was able to do so well is an impressive feat. Although I suppose the merchandising had something to with that. 

"Where the real money is made".

Overall, it's a fun sci-fi adventure that's a great little time-waster.

Franchise Reviews: Star Wars

Since I watched and posted reviews of all the James Bond films back in October, I figured I might see what other film franchises I could do the same with. With that in mind, I heard there's a new Star Wars film out. I haven't seen it yet. I was going to, but then a stomach bug got in the way. Karma can be a massive tosser sometimes.

So while I make a recovery and wait for another date to watch the new film, I figured I might pass the time by watching the original trilogy. The version I'm specifically looking at will by the 2004 DVD trilogy. It's not the best, but they did straighten out some of the more controversial changes of the 1997 Special Edition films.

Granted, there might be a fair few retrospective reviews coming out around this time, but I figured I might throw in my two cents as well.

James Bond Marathon: SPECTRE

Well, I'm 22 years old now, and is there better way to spend a birthday than watching the new Bond film on the day of its release? Well, apparently there is. But when you make a promise to the Internet you have to keep it.

The film starts with Bond in Mexico, foiling an attack on a stadium by blowing up somewhere else. After the unfortunate international incident that follows, M suspends Bond while trying to cope with a new merger orchestrated by Moriarty from Sherlock. Then a bunch of other stuff happens which results in Bond encountering a criminal organisation called SPECTRE, headed by Christoph Waltz.

This film seemed all over the place. It's like they couldn't decide whether or not they wanted to have a mindless action film or to try and explore the psychology of Bond. Yeah, it's a bit convoluted. I came into this film expecting something among the lines of Tomorrow Never Dies; the previous film was asking the question of Bond's relevance in an age of digital surveillance, so this film could decide the answer was "Yes." and go back to basics.

Christoph Waltz had the potential to be a great Bond villain, but I don't think he was able to pull it off. His character just didn't seem to bring the best of his talent out. Meanwhile, Léa Sydoux plays the girl of the week Madeleine Swann. Unfortunately, any interesting character development she expects devolves into playing the damsel.

To be honest, I think the real hero of this film is Q. He seems to save the day in the end, and he brings some great jokes into the film.

In conclusion, I found this film to be a rather disappointing one. Unless you're also planning to marathon all the films, you can probably give this one a miss.

Now, I'm off to see if I can upstage Sam Smith by doing a cover of the song he wrote for this using a party blower. And no, I'm not going to record that so don't ask me to.

James Bond Marathon: Wrap-up

My overall view of the James Bond films was that it got a bit formulaic after Goldfinger. I still think that's the case, but I have found they have still managed to have a lot of variety with this formula. Having said that, this null hypothesis does mean that I can find the more down-to-earth stories a very welcome break.

I think that the variety would stem from how distinct each version of Bond is. Sean Connery is great for setting up the groundwork, while Roger Moore was able to give the films a sense of fun and clever light-heartedness (for the most part). Meanwhile, I also enjoy the gritty realism brought to the table by Timothy Dalton and Daniel Craig. But while Dalton tries to maintain this within the formula, Craig more or less does as he pleases. Pierce Brosnan was able to balance the grittiness and light-heartedness, providing fun for all the family. I sometimes wonder what it might have been like if George Lazenby stayed in the role. He seems to be trying to emulate Connery, and didn't have enough time to truly grasp a character.

Anyway, I think I should include some kind of countdown of top 5 and bottom 5, so here goes:

The Tops:

5) The Spy Who Loved Me

4) The Living Daylights

3) For Your Eyes Only

2) GoldenEye

1) From Russia With Love

The Bottoms:

5) A View to a Kill

4) Diamonds are Forever

3) The Man with the Golden Gun

2) Moonraker

1) Die Another Day

I'll let you argue my decisions and plug in the gaps as you see fit.

As for the upcoming SPECTRE; I probably won't be able to see it right away, but when I do, you can expect me to do a post about it.

I hope you enjoyed these short reviews, and I'm sure I can think of something else to blog about if the fiction's slow. Until next time.

James Bond Marathon: Skyfall

I really can't decide whether the best film of the Craig era is Casino Royale or this one.

An MI6 safe-house in Istanbul has been raided, so Bond is trying to stop the perpetrator from escaping with a list of deep-cover agents working in terrorist groups. Following an action-packed chase culminating in a punch-up on a train, Bond is accidentally shot by his partner Eve, played by Naomie Harris, and falls off a bridge.

Three months later, Bond has been declared 'missing presumed dead', and M is under fire from her superiors in the government, especially Lord Voldemort. Following a bombing at the MI6 headquarters, Bond comes out of a drunken semi-retirement and returns to London. After being (incorrectly) declared fit for duty, this time without seducing any physicians, he is assigned to find out who is responsible for the attack. A trail from Shanghai to Macau soon identifies the culprit as Mr Silva, an ex-MI6 agent from M's past, played by Javier Bardem.

This film is very similar to GoldenEye, as it is once again examining Bond's purpose, this time in a digital age. However, it takes it a step further by examining M's relevance too. At the same time, they bring back some of the more classical elements of the films. We see the return of Q, now played by Ben Whishaw, but he doesn't have any exploding pens. Also returning is Miss Moneypenny.

Daniel Craig is certainly playing a very flawed Bond. He's a physical wreck, barely able to contend with the work he's going through, and soon finds himself questioning his loyalties. But the real star of the show is Mr Silva. He is diabolical while assuming a very flamboyant persona. I'm not the greatest fan of camp characters, but he pulls it off very well. It's certainly different from his performance in No Country for Old Men, but Mr Silva and Anton are villains I'd equally fear.

There is a great action-packed prologue, along with a climax at Bond's ancestral home. And the ending is very poignant.

This might be one of my favourites. Let's see how the next one fares.

James Bond Marathon: Quantum of Solace

Hmmm...not too sure about this one. I've heard it to be regarded as a bad Bond film, but I can't really see why.

The film essentially carries on from where the last film left off, in which Bond has captured Le Chiffre's employer, known only as Mr White. And no, he's not played by Harvey Keitel, but by Jesper Christensen. Anyway, he soon escapes from MI6 custody with the aid of a traitor who is promptly killed by Bond. He soon identifies the traitor's contact as environmentalist Dominic Greene, played by Mathieu Amalric, who is plotting to aid an exiled Bolivian general stage a coup. Oh, and there's a girl of the week who wants to kill the general to avenge her parents. That's on top of Bond being motivated by revenge for the death of Vesper.

The overall story is very similar to Licence to Kill, with a predominately South American setting and Bond seeking revenge. However, I think it does work a little better thanks to Bond being on official business this time. Then again, that scenario still might have more potential, but I'm fine with it. Although I'm not too sure about Dominic Greene's motives. It seems a little contrived.

Odd plots aside, the action is still great. There's a great gadget-free car chase at the beginning, along with a pulley-fight not long afterwards. So, why wouldn't people like this film? Perhaps it's Daniel Craig. He gets some of the coldest moments in the history of the character in this film. That's fair enough, as he's supposed to be closer to the Bond of the books. But the Bond of the books would be wincing at some of his actions.

That's about it. I'll just say "It's good. Not Great."

Hang on, the environmentalist villain certainly does recycle elements and imagery from the older films.

Sorry, I'll go now. I've only got one film left to do.

James Bond Marathon: Casino Royale

Well, after the utter train-wreck that was Die Another Day, the powers that be decided to reboot the franchise. So, we have a new James Bond played by Daniel Craig and an official adaptation of the first Ian Fleming novel.

The film begins with Bond killing a corrupt MI6 officer following a brutal fight with his contact in a public toilet. Carrying out these killings gets him promoted to the 00 Section which grants his Licence to Kill. Later, he kills a bomb-maker in Madagascar and traces his employer to the Bahamas, allowing him to prevent a terrorist attack in Miami. Following this, M sends him to Montenegro to play in a high-stakes poker tournament against Le Chiffre, a terrorist banker played by Mads Mikkelsen who had funded the attack. While there, he falls in love with Vesper Lynd, his treasury contact played by Eva Green.

I originally saw this film in the cinema back in 2006, and I have to admit that I didn't like it. Maybe because The Phantom Menace had made me sniffy about prequels, or that I hadn't really warmed up to the direction the franchise was going. However, I saw it again a few years later after reading some of the books, and it has grown on me. Daniel Craig plays a much more reckless and inexperienced Bond, who often lets his overconfidence get the better of him. This kind of attitude makes the calm and calculated Vesper stand out compared to previous girls of the week. And the action is still great, with free-running chases across a building site and a car chase through an airport, this time without any fancy gadgetry.

Overall, this is a great film, especially if you've read the books. I'm actually surprised that they managed to create a faithful adaptation while simultaneously expanding it and updating the setting to a more modern (and politically correct) time.

That's about all I have to say. Until next time.

James Bond Marathon: Die Another Day

I think Pierce Brosnan should have quit while he was ahead.

Bond is on a mission to eliminate Colonel Moon, a rogue North Korean general who is trading weapons for conflict diamonds. Unfortunately, Bond's cover is blown by an unknown traitor and he is imprisoned and tortured for fourteen months as the audience is tortured by an awful Madonna song. Anyway, after being exchanged for a North Korean war criminal named Zao, he is dishonourably discharged by M. Eager to redeem himself, he tries to conduct his own investigation from Havana to London to Iceland, leading to billionaire playboy Gustav Graves, played by Toby Stephens.

However, Graves is planning something nefarious with a satellite named Icarus and...hang on a minute, this all seems familiar. Meanwhile, Bond finds himself involved with two girls of the week: NSA agent Jinx, played by Halle Berry, along with Miranda Frost, an undercover MI6 agent played by Rosamund Pike.

I think I've established early on that I hate this movie. It's a shame, because it starts out really well (electro-pop aside) with an action-packed hovercraft chase and some good drama. Unfortunately, they had to go and spoil it. Jinx is supposed to be Bond's equal, and she does prove herself several times, but her dialogue is comprised entirely of double-entendre that's cheap even by James Bond standards. I guess they were saving up for the CGI budget. Once the action goes to Iceland, we get an invisible car, a mech suit, and a Bond car battle between Bond and Zao.

Christ, I really nitpicked this one. But these are some serious issues. I was willing to accept a Lotus that turns into a submarine, an Aston Martin with a rocket booster, and a BMW that's remote controlled. But an Aston Martin that can turn invisible to the human eye might be a step too far. Although I will give credit to the relics in Q's lab. After all, the film franchise was 40 years old at this point. Why not bring a few memories?

All in all, it had a promising start, but the film was let down by science fiction elements more suited to Metal Gear Solid than James Bond, and a story that was more or less a remake of Diamonds are Forever (which I also didn't like).

40 years on and this was one of the lowest points in the franchise. So much so that Pierce Brosnan had to wash his hands of the role with an even more embarrassing one.

James Bond Marathon: The World is Not Enough

Hello, John Cleese.

Following the assassination of Sir Robert King, an oil tycoon and old friend of M, Bond is assigned to watch over his daughter Elektra, played by Sophie Marceau.  Elektra had previously been kidnapped by anarchist Renard, played by Robert Carlyle, who survived an assassination attempt which has left him unable to feel pain. Anyway, Renard is back and plotting to steal plutonium while targeting Elektra again. Bond must investigate with the aid of nuclear physicist and alternate girl of the week Christmas Jones, played by Denise Richards, but soon suspects that his charge isn't all that she seems.

This one seems up and down. There is some great action, like a boat chase across the Thames ending at the Millennium Dome, a ski chase with parahawks, and an attack by logging helicopters. I also think the twist is a good one for your typical spy thriller. Robbie Coltrane also makes a welcome return as Valentin.

Christmas Jones seems interesting enough, but she doesn't seem to do that much other than spout technical exposition. However, my biggest issue is with Bond. At the beginning, he falls from a hot air balloon and dislocates his shoulder, but seduces the MI6 physicist into clearing him for duty. This gives him an opportunity to be a handicapped badass. Sometimes they use this, but other times they just ignore it. You need to be consistent with something like that.

This one seems like a generic run-of-the-mill Bond film, although they did try something different. They just could have executed it a little better.

One other thing before I wrap this up; this was the last film in the series to feature Desmond Llewellyn as Q, as the actor was killed in a car accident after the film's release. However, it's discussed within the film that Q was retiring and is grooming a replacement, John Cleese as R.

Well that's about it. The calm before the storm, as I know how much of an utter headache the next one is. So much so I plan to justify a mistake I made at the beginning of the marathon.

James Bond Marathon: Tomorrow Never Dies

It's about time somebody put Rupert Murdoch in his place.

The prologue takes place on the Russian border, where 007 is infiltrating a terrorist bazaar and witnesses the exchange of an American GPS Encoder. Unfortunately, a sudden naval strike forces him to steal a jet carrying tactical nukes and get into a dogfight while flying with his feet. Anyway, he is soon assigned to thwart the plans of unscrupulous media baron Elliot Carver, played by a very hammy Jonathan Pryce, who seeks to engineer a war between the UK and China for the media coverage.

I guess after GoldenEye's exploration of Bond's relevance following the end of the Cold War, the powers that be decided the answer was "Yes" and opted to go back to basics. So, we have a somewhat generic and formulaic action flick that goes from Hamburg to Saigon, as Bond finds himself cooperating with Chinese agent and girl of the week Wai Lin, played by Michelle Yeoh. Also present is Teri Hatcher as Paris, Carver's trophy wife and an old flame of Bond's, but she gets about three scenes.

Carver is your typical megalomaniac Bond villain, who manufactures his news stories to get maximum coverage, but his methods are more than underhanded. He sinks a British destroyer in the South China Sea and has his brute Stamper gun down the survivors. Christ, there's phone hacking and then there's that.

But is that megalomania a bad thing? Not at all. It's what makes him so memorable. That, along with a few action scenes like an infiltration of his paper, a car chase through a multi-storey car park with a remote-controlled BMW, along with Bond and Wai Lin escaping on a motorcycle while handcuffed together.

All in all, it's a good film, with adrenaline-pumping action scenes and an easy story to comprehend, but it's not as great as the previous instalment. Then again, that was a hard act to follow.

James Bond Marathon: Goldeneye

This was one of the first Bond films I ever watched, stemming from knowledge of the Nintendo 64 title. Who remembers that gem?

The prologue involves Bond, now played by Pierce Brosnan, infiltrating a chemical plant in Russia with fellow 00 Agent Alec Trevelyan, played by Sean Bean. Unfortunately, Trevelyan is captured and executed by Colonel Ourumov, played by Gottfried John, and Bond escapes before the plant is destroyed.

Nine years later, Bond is on a mission in Monte Carlo to observe Xenia Onatopp, played by Famke Janssen, a suspected member of the Janus crime syndicate. Xenia is there to steal an experimental helicopter with EMP shielding, which is used to steal a secret Russian weapon satellite known as GoldenEye. Bond travels to St Petersburg to find Janus and determine his motives, in order to prevent the GoldenEye from being misused. He is aided in his mission by CIA agent Jack Wade, played by Joe Don Baker, ex-KGB agent turned mobster Valentin Zukovsky, played by Robbie Coltrane, and GoldenEye programmer Natalia Simonova, played by Isabella Scorupco.

This is a great film, with some fantastic action scenes like the tank chase. It also explores Bond's purpose, both as an agent after the Cold War and as a womanising scoundrel in an age of political correctness. Natalya is a pretty cool character. She's crafty, she thinks on her feet, and she's the one who ultimately saves the day.

If there is any real issue I have, it's that the GoldenEye seems rather destructive for an EMP, but that's kind of minor.

So yeah, not much to really say, other than that nostalgia aside, it still holds up as a strong movie. And 007 is still relevant.

James Bond Marathon: License to Kill

Miami Vice, anybody?

The film opens with Bond in Key West acting as the best man for his old friend Felix Leiter, who has now transferred to the DEA. En route to the wedding, the pair make an unexpected stop to apprehend the notorious drug baron Franz Sanchez, played by Robert Davi. Unfortunately, Sanchez escapes and has Felix maimed by a shark and his wife murdered. Bond promptly embarks on a vendetta, losing his licence to kill and becoming a rogue agent in the process. His crusade takes him from Florida to the Bahamas to the Republic of Isthmus, a small Latin-American nation which Sanchez has made his kingdom. Fortunately, he receives assistance from Q along with two girls of the week: CIA informant Pam Bouvier, played by Carey Lowell, and Sanchez's mistress Lupe Lamora, played by Talisa Soto.

This film is much darker and edgier than any of the previous films, probably a little too much for some people. Personally, I'm fine with it. After all, that's why it stands out. There's also the issue with having Bond go through a revenge story. Previous films have already established that Bond and other 00 agents are trained to treat assignments coldly and objectively, so a revenge plot could feel out of place. Personally, I think they could have done it a little differently. Perhaps Bond could have been sent to Isthmus for an official mission rather than a personal one, which could present an opportunity to explore a personal conflict.

Issues with the premise aside, they still turned out a great film. Dalton is much more cynical, and is regarded as being closer to the Bond of the Fleming books. I'd have to read some more of them to share that sentiment. Meanwhile, Sanchez is a very menacing villain, with a wide assortment of henchmen. Pam Bouvier is pretty active as well, saving Bond on more than one occasion. And of course, there are some great action sequences, such as the opening with Bond 'going fishing' to apprehend Sanchez.

It's a shame that the franchise went into a weird limbo state for six years after this one, as it is still a noteworthy film. Then again, this was 1989; the same year we had Batman, Back to the Future Part II, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, and an array of other high-grossing films to dominate the box office.

So yeah, a good film, but could have been better.

James Bond Marathon: The Living Daylights

Time for a new mission, introducing Timothy Dalton as the new 007.

Bond is on a mission in Bratislava to aid the defection of General Georgi Koskov of the KGB, played by Jeroen Krabbé, by acting as a counter-sniper as the general attends a concert. However, he disobeys orders by refusing to kill the sniper, a virtuoso cellist and girl of the week Kara Milovy, played by Maryam d'Abo. Back in England, Koskov claims that General Leonid Pushkin, the new head of the KGB played by John Rhys-Davies, is planning to kill several British and American agents. He is abducted by the KGB shortly afterwards, and Bond is assigned a mission to assassinate Pushkin as he attends an event in Tangier. However, he secretly investigates Milovy and learns that she is romantically involved with Koskov, suggesting his defection was staged, and that he may be involved with General Brad Whitaker, an American arms dealer played by Joe Don Baker.

Set pieces include a car chase with a gadget-laden Aston Martin V8, an escape across the rooftops in Tangier, and a skirmish at a Soviet airbase in Afghanistan. I did have some doubts about the girl of the week, feeling she might be a gullible damsel, but even she gets an active role in the film's climax. She did present herself as a load at first, wanting to take her cello with her to Vienna, but even that proves to be useful when they have to leave the car and escape down a slope.

There's not really that much I can say without spoiling the surprises this film throws. I especially think that the down-to-earth story is a welcome break from the superweapons and world domination schemes of most of the films so far. Necros is a pretty cool henchman too.

All in all, this one is pretty good, and worth checking out. In fact, I might rate this one quite highly.

James Bond Marathon: A View to a Kill

Well, it looks like Roger Moore was deciding to call it quits.

After discovering a microchip on the body of another 00 agent in Siberia, Bond is assigned to investigate the manufacturer, Zorin Industries. On a trail that goes from Ascot to Paris to San Francisco, Bond initially discovers that Max Zorin, played by Christopher Walken, is allegedly fixing horse races. But his real scheme is to somehow destroy the microchip industry at Silicon Valley so he can gain a monopoly on the market. Right.

I'd say this film has a similar issue to Octopussy, in that I just don't see how the two schemes really intertwine, but this one does explain it a bit more than previously. Perhaps.

Zorin is an ex-KGB agent and is the product of some genetic experimentation conducted by a Nazi scientist. He is a genius, but is also completely psychopathic. It's a neat idea, but all I really see in him is Christopher Walken playing himself. It's a pity he didn't have more dialogue or a dancing sequence, otherwise it would be perfect.

The story seems a little convoluted. That's typical for Bond film, and I'm usually fine with it, but here it wasn't done very well. Tanya Roberts plays the girl of the week, impoverished heiress and State Geologist Stacy Sutton. And frankly, I can't stand her. The concept could have been expanded on, but instead they just made her a screaming damsel. The set pieces include an Arctic chase, a dressage (wait, what?), an escape from a burning elevator, and a fight involving a blimp and the Golden Gate Bridge. Interesting ideas, but either underwhelming or ruined by the annoying damsel or poor soundtrack choices.

But if I could praise something about this film, it would be Grace Jones as Zorin's henchwoman May Day. She's tough, strong, and very intimidating. Not the sort of person you want to trifle with.

Overall, I regard this as one of the weaker films of the series. It's not the worst, but it doesn't do the best of jobs.

Better luck next time, 007.

James Bond Marathon: Octopussy

This is going to be another comedy, isn't it?

A function at the British embassy in East Berlin is gatecrashed by a 00 agent dressed in a clown suit with a mortal wound and a fake Fabergé egg. This prompts a new M, played by Robert Brown, to send 007 to an auction for the genuine article at Sotheby's. He enters a bidding war with exiled Afghan prince Kamal Khan, played by Louis Jourdan, and trails him to India. Soon, he discovers Kamal's accomplices. First is the renegade Soviet General Orlov, played by Stephen Berkoff, who is stealing Russian treasures and replacing them with forgeries. Second is an all-female group of smugglers led by the mysterious yet familiar Octopussy, played by Maud Adams, who transport the jewels under the guise of a travelling circus. However, the smuggling was only the tip of the iceberg, as Orlov and Khan are about to hatch a plot to destabilise Western Europe and bypass Mutually Assured Destruction.

My greatest issue with this film is what really connects jewel smuggling and terrorists with nukes. I think the writing around it seems rather tenuous. On top of that, the film is a really goofy one. Bond's Indian contact Vijay initially greets Bond by posing as a snake-charmer and playing his leitmotif. There's also a scene where Bond impersonates Tarzan, and later has to infiltrate the circus dressed as a clown.

OK, I'm starting to nitpick a bit. But do the goofy moments wreck the film as they did other films? I'm quite surprised by this, but they don't. Even when Bond is trying to disable a bomb in front of an audience dressed as a clown, there is still the right amount of tension. I don't know how they managed that, but they did.

Overall, it's not the greatest Bond film out there, but it certainly isn't a horrible one. They seemed to get lucky with the balance of goofy and tense.

James Bond Marathon: For Your Eyes Only

I think this might be one of my favourites.

After a cold open where Bond is visiting his wife's grave and takes care of some unfinished business, a more realistic story follows. A British spy ship is sunk in the Ionian sea after trawling an old naval mine, prompting the Secret Service to enlist the aid of a marine archaeologist to try and salvage a sought-after ATAC guidance computer used for sending orders to nuclear submarines. After the archaeologist is killed by an assassin, 007 is sent in to investigate. When the assassin is killed by his target's daughter, Bond follows a tenuous lead through Cortina to Greece, where he embroiled in a feud between two smugglers: Aristotle Kristatos, played by Julian Glover, and Milos Colombo, played by Chaim Topol. Both had been war heroes, and now one of them is conspiring to steal the ATAC for the KGB (no prizes for guessing which one).

Bond is aided in his mission by girl of the week Melina Havelock, the aforementioned vengeful daughter played by Carole Bouquet. She's a good sharpshooter, favouring a crossbow, and manages to help out quite a bit with the resources at her disposal. While her desire for revenge hinders Bond at first, it is played for drama rather than for humour, and I find it rather heart-warming when Bond is able to talk her down. Especially because this film delivers one of Roger Moore's coldest moments when he kicks the henchman's car off a cliff.

The gritty realism adds to the set pieces really well. In one particularly hilarious scene, Bond's gadget-laden Lotus is blown up when someone tries to break the window, so he is forced to escape with Melina in a Citroen 2CV, known to users as 'The Flying Dustbin'. There's also a ski chase, a tense deep-sea diving sequence, an equally tense mountaineering sequence, and a precarious death trap where Bond and Melina are keelhauled.

If there's anything strange about this film, it's the number of fake foreigners. You've got a Greek character played by a British actor, a Greek character played by an Israeli actor, an Anglo-Greek woman played by a French actress, and I don't know what nationality 'Bibi Dahl' originated from, but she sounds very American. But the best case is for an Austrian countess who is actually from Liverpool, played by an Australian actress.

As stated above, I enjoy the more realistic and edgy tone of this film, along with the somewhat deeper relationship between Bond and Melina. The music by Bill Conti (of Rocky fame) adds a lot to this as well.

Also, is one of those goons Charles Dance?

James Bond Marathon: Moonraker

Hang on a minute, I thought For Your Eyes Only was going to be the next film. But instead we get this impromptu Star Wars cash-in.

Bond is assigned a new mission to investigate the possible hijacking of the Moonraker, a space shuttle developed by Drax Industries. Travelling to California, he meets up with Hugo Drax, played by Michael Lonsdale, at his French château in California (Yes, he is said to have had the building transported brick by brick from France). After surviving an assassination attempt involving a centrifuge, Bond follows a series of clues that lead from Venice to Rio de Janeiro, to outer space, where Drax is planning to eradicate mankind with a nerve agent while creating a master race from those with physical perfection.

You'd think something with an elevator pitch like 'James Bond in Space' would be a neat idea. Unfortunately, I don't think it delivers. Once they go up into space and have a zero-gravity laser battle, the film loses all credibility. Drax seems like a rehash of Carl Stromberg from the previous film, Jaws makes a return but has gone from menacing henchman to Wile E. Coyote, and good God there are some really stupid moments. That state-of-the-art gondola was impressive though, even though it's not very subtle. It even causes a pigeon to do a double take.

OK, I've been a bit harsh. There are still some good set pieces on Earth, like another boat chase and fight on top of a cable car. And I would also like to give credit to Lois Chiles as the girl of the week Dr Holly Goodhead. She's an astronaut working as a trainer for Drax, but is secretly monitoring him on behalf of the CIA. While the gadgets she seems to have don't get used (except for pen with a poisoned needle), she is still a capable fighter and effective as a shuttle pilot.

People either love or hate this movie. Personally, I don't think it works despite being one of the highest grossing Bond films of the time. It should be more spy opera and less space opera.

That's about it. But on a final note, this film was Bernard Lee's last appearance as M. The actor was diagnosed with stomach cancer not long after the film's release, and died as they began shooting the next one.

Well, I'll be back next time with a film that is wisely down to earth.

James Bond Marathon: The Spy Who Loved Me

If there was Bingo game for the Bond films, this would get a full house.

A British nuclear submarine disappears under mysterious circumstances, so Bond is pulled out of a mission in Austria to investigate. After evading KGB assassins in an awesome ski chase, he is sent to Cairo to try and acquire blueprints for a submarine tracking system which has emerged on the black market. Soon, he is facing competition from the girl of the week, Barbara Bach as KGB agent Major Anya Amasova. Also searching for the plans is the metal-toothed giant known only as Jaws, played by Richard Kiel. Soon enough, the two agents find themselves working together after their respective agencies opt to pool their resources to investigate the real culprit: Kurd Jurgens as the shipping magnate Karl Stromberg, who wants to create a world beneath the sea.

They certainly did retain the goofiness of the previous film, but it's done better here, in my opinion. Stromberg is as stereotypical a Bond villain as you can get: He's a megalomaniac, he has boiler-suited minions, he has two villainous lairs, he gloats, he feeds people to sharks, the list goes on. I have no problem with that though. What I do have a problem with is Major Amasova. There is some interesting tension between the agents at first, but once they work together she becomes a useless damsel.

But the best part of the film is the Lotus that Bond drives, with the ability to turn into a submarine. Jaws is also a pretty threatening henchman, but does seem a bit too indestructable. He survives collapsing scaffolding, falling off a train and going off a cliff but only dusts himself off. To be honest though, I think were playing that for laughs.

Overall, I think this was a very silly film, but an enjoyably silly one. The director of You Only Live Twice might have something to do with that.

James Bond will return in For Your Eyes Only.

James Bond Marathon: The Man with the Golden Gun

I'll start right now by saying I don't like this film. It plays out like a comedy that's paying tribute to martial arts films. I'd sooner watch Kung Fu Hustle if that's the case.

Christopher Lee plays Francisco Scaramanga, the world's greatest assassin and the eponymous 'Man with the Golden Gun'. After a golden bullet is sent to MI6 with '007' written on it, M sends Bond on a sabbatical, pulling him out of a mission to find a missing expert on solar energy (The film had been made during an energy crisis). So, he tries to find Scaramanga on a trail that leads him from Beirut to Macau, to Hong Kong, to Bangkok, to a private island in the South China Sea. Soon, he learns that Scaramanga was hired to kill the expert on the orders of a wealthy energy magnate Hai Fat. But Scaramanga wants some kind of maguffin relating to solar energy so he can gain a monopoly on that market.

They certainly did turn up the comedic elements in this film, but I find that they overdid it. There's a kind of 'love triangle' between Bond and the two girls of the week: Britt Ekland as the inept MI6 agent Mary Goodnight, and Maud Adams as Scaramanga's mistress Andrea Anders. I don't think Britt Ekland does the best job as a Bond girl. She always seems to be making mistakes and I can't help but feel like she's a stereotypical 'blonde bombshell'.

There's a fight scene with a group of students at a dojo, followed by a boat chase, and a car chase with a jump across a broken bridge. It's a good stunt, but they had to ruin it with a comedic sound effect (a slide whistle).

However, the best aspect of the film has to be the late Christopher Lee. He's a great villain, both charming and sinister, and he carries the film any scene he's in. Accompanying him is his manservant, a French midget called Nick-Nack. Well, OK then.

Overall, I think I could give this one a miss. If you want a martial arts comedy, you might like it, but I think other films did that better.

Oh yeah, and Sheriff Pepper makes a comeback. I'd like to see what he adds to the story.

James Bond Marathon: Live and Let Die

Well, it's time to start a new era of Bond, with our favourite secret agent now being played by Roger Moore.

007 is now assigned a mission to investigate the deaths of three MI6 agents who were investigating Dr Kananga, the Prime Minister of the Caribbean island of San Monique, played by Yaphet Kotto. Bond's mission takes him between New York, San Monique and New Orleans, as he soon uncovers a connection between Kananga and Harlem crime boss "Mr Big" in the form of a large heroin-smuggling operation with strong links to the occult and Voodoo. This includes the legendary Voodoo figure Baron Samedi, and the clairvoyant girl of the week Solitaire, played by Jane Seymour.

The film seems to be paying tribute to the growth of the 'blaxploitation' films of the 1970s. For those who don't know, these were independent films with predominately African-American casts, often with funding from Civil Rights groups. But when Roger Moore is added to the picture, you could say the film has some unfortunate implications when presented to a modern audience. But I'm not going to talk about that.

It may seem odd the occult has a major part in a James Bond film, but they used it enough that I don't have an issue with it. What I do have an issue with is Solitaire. She is used by Kananga to anticipate Bond's every move, but loses her clairvoyance when Bond sleeps with her - after seducing her with a stacked Tarot deck - essentially coercing her into helping him. Once that's done, she more or less becomes your typical damsel. Also present is a bumbling redneck sheriff who tries to pursue Bond in Louisiana, serving little purpose except comic relief.

On the other hand, I do enjoy some of the villains they created. Baron Samedi has an almost mystical reputation on San Monique, with a suitably sinister laugh and deep voice that will make you want a 7-Up. Also facing Bond is 'Tee Hee', an enforcer with a mechanical arm.

Set pieces include an escape from the San Monique police in a double decker bus, a boat chase through the Louisiana bayous, crocodile jumping, and agents who are killed watching their own funeral with a very upbeat send-off. I also really enjoy Paul McCartney's theme song he wrote for it.

Overall, I like this one. It's probably not the best Bond film around, but I think Moore did a pretty good job with this one. I look forward to seeing him again.

James Bond Marathon: Diamonds Are Forever

I might consider this one to be one of the weaker films of the series. George Lazenby had bowed out following a recommendation from his agent - a decision he would later regret. With nobody else suited to the role of 007, Sean Connery made his return with a large degree of reluctance.

After the death of his wife, Bond has been scouring the world in search of Ernst Stavro Blofeld, played this time by Charles Gray. Eventually, he tracks down his nemesis and drowns him in a pool of hot mud. With that out of the way, he is back on active duty for a new mission to infiltrate a diamond smuggling ring. With the smugglers being killed off by assassins Mr Wint and Mr Kidd, Bond follows the trail of bodies from South Africa to Amsterdam, where he takes the place of smuggler Peter Franks to collect the diamonds from girl of the week Tiffany Case, played by Jill St. John. The pipeline continues to Las Vegas, where Bond narrowly escapes being cremated alive before he continues to investigate.

Unfortunately, the film then gets stupid. I'm going to spoil it now, and say that Blofeld is revealed to still be alive, and is stockpiling the diamonds to create an orbital laser which he'll use to destroy the nuclear arms of the world's superpowers and then sell it to the highest bidder. I think they should have stuck with the down-to-earth story to break up the formulaic world domination plots that have been going on since Goldfinger. Don't get me wrong, those schemes can be entertaining, but I just don't think this one delivers. I also can't stand Tiffany Case, as she gets too bumbling to the point of parody.

However, there's still a good fight scene between Bond and Franks in an elevator, a car chase through the Nevada desert that spills into Las Vegas, and a gripping climax on board an oil rig. I would also like to give credit to Bruce Glover and Putter Smith as the really sinister duo that is Mr Wint and Mr Kidd. Even in the film's campy atmosphere, their methods of killing send chills down spines and get adrenaline pumping. At the time of writing, I'm almost 22 and their attempt to kill Bond by cremation still causes me to shudder.

Well, I'll be back soon with a new film and a new 007. Over and out.

James Bond Marathon: On Her Majesty's Secret Service

Hang on a moment, that's not Bond.

Sean Connery had fallen out with the producers, so the role of James Bond was to be fulfilled by a new person: A rookie actor called George Lazenby.

This new, vaguely Australian Bond finds himself repeatedly saving the girl of the week: a depressed Countess, Teresa 'Tracy' di Vincenzo, played by Diana Rigg. After multiple encounters with her, Bond is soon brought before her father Marc-Ange Draco, the leader of the Corsican Mafia. Draco hopes that Bond can wed Tracy so she will have a reason to live, offering Bond information about SPECTRE, as Ernst Stavro Blofeld has disappeared. Eventually, Bond is required to pose as a genealogist after learning that Blofeld is seeking a noble title, gaining him access to an allergy research lab in the Swiss Alps where several young women are being treated. Being Bond, he blows his cover when he can't keep his weapon holstered, and learns that Blofeld is brainwashing the women to release a deadly virus that will destroy the world's agriculture, demanding amnesty for his past crimes and recognition of the noble title.

I have to say that the first part of the film isn't that great. The fight scenes aren't shot very well and difficult to see, and most of it is a montage of Bond courting Tracy. However, it does improve later on, with the humour of Bond trying to maintain his cover while...stretching his legs. But the best part is the second half, when Bond escapes from the facility. There's a ski chase followed by Bond being rescued by Tracy and eluding SPECTRE's goons through a stock car race. Overall, Tracy is actually a pretty good Bond girl. She saves Bond's skin, and when she gets captured she devises her own escape.

Not only did we have a new Bond, but a new Blofeld too. Telly Savalas is more charming compared to the unstable Donald Pleasance in the previous film. I preferred Pleasance myself, but I have no problem with Savalas. In fact, I think Savalas might be closer to the unseen Blofeld of the earlier films.

Overall, I think the film has a weak start, but truly delivers once the bullets start flying. And the final scene might be one of the most poignant in the franchise.

Oh yeah, and I really love that music they use.

James Bond Marathon: You Only Live Twice

Roald Dahl did the screenplay for this? Well, that is a surprise. Anyway, I'm trying to keep my nitpicking to a minimum for the duration of this marathon. But this film is making that really difficult.

But before I get to that, let me give you a summary. NASA's latest space mission is disrupted when a mysterious craft steals the capsule and the crew. Naturally, the Americans decide to blame the Russians, but a British diplomat suggests a Japanese involvement. Cut to Bond 'on the job' in Hong Kong when he gets killed before  the opening credits. After a public funeral, it's revealed that he faked his death to give himself some elbow room to investigate. Arriving in Japan, Bond works with the head of the Japanese secret service Tiger Tanaka, and girl of the week Aki, suspecting the involvement of the billionaire industrialist Mr Osato. However, it soon  transpires that Osato is involved with SPECTRE, which Bond figures out almost immediately. But considering their usual run of dastardly plots, I wouldn't be surprised either. Most notably, they finally give SPECTRE's Number 1 a face and a name; the criminal mastermind Ernst Stavro Blofeld, played by Donald Pleasence.

One thing I will say is that Aki may have been one of the most active Bond girls so far, saving Bond's skin several times. I enjoy the Japanese setting very much, and although I have doubts about some the ways it perceives Japanese culture (particularly regarding women). Especially when they decide that Bond must become Japanese. Yes, that is as cringe-inducing as it sounds.

Set pieces include Tanaka dispatching a car of goons by picking it up with a helicopter and dropping it in  the sea, a brawl with stevedores, a dogfight which makes use of Little Nellie, and a battle in SPECTRE's volcano lair involving ninjas. Despite the goofiness, Little Nellie was a nifty little toy, an autogyro equipped with an impressive arsenal.

I think that there are some parts of this one that are incredibly goofy and ridiculous, but I also think that it's actually done pretty well. Roald Dahl has managed to make this film so ridiculous it's awesome.

That's all I really have to say about it.

We'll meet again, Mr Bond, in On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

James Bond Marathon: Thunderball

Was SCUBA diving the biggest fad of 1965? Well, it doesn't matter if that's the case or not, because this Bond film's a pretty good one.

The cold open is great. Bond attends a funeral in Paris for a colonel in league with SPECTRE, but soon realises that the deceased is very much alive and posing as his widow. He trails him back to his château, kills him after a rough fight, and escapes his goons with a jetpack and his Aston Martin. James Bond with a jetpack. In 1965. That alone is worth a viewing.

Anyway, SPECTRE carries out a highly ambitious plot to steal two nuclear warheads from NATO, and hold them to ransom by threatening a major city in Britain or the USA. In response, MI6 mounts Operation Thunderball to recover them. Bond, who was on a rest period at a health clinic, is called in following an attempt on his life involving a spinal traction machine. After recognising a body at the clinic as a NATO commander, he travels to Nassau to find the man's sister Domino, the mistress of Emilio Largo, the SPECTRE agent behind the theft. Soon, the two are playing the deadly waltz of intrigue in the Bahamas.

I think about 40% of this film was shot underwater (let me know if I'm mistaken). The best set piece is the climax, featuring an underwater battle between SPECTRE divers and the US Navy aquaparas. Bond enters the fray this time with an underwater propulsion unit designed by Q. And taking place on the beach, there's plenty of fan service with both Connery and the girls of the week; Claudine Auger as Domino, and Luciana Paluzzi as the SPECTRE assassin and femme fatale Fiona Volpe. Adolfo Celi portrays Largo as a charming yet ruthless villain. He won't hesitate to execute those who fail him or attempt betrayal, preferably by feeding them to sharks. Not to mention he has a sweet boat, the Disco Volante.

Given the choice, I would rank this one quite highly. I especially like the opening song by Tom Jones. Rumours about his lung capacity aside, the lyrics being a summary of James Bond's character is a very nice touch.

Right, I'll see you next time. Over and out.

James Bond Marathon: Goldfinger

TV Tropes refers to this film as "The one pop culture parodies the most." Well, it certainly does have some of the most memorable moments, but is it the best Bond film of all time? Light your torches and grab your pitchforks, because I don't really think so.

After a cold opening involving "heroin-flavoured bananas" and a shocking death, Bond is relaxing in Miami Beach when his old friend Felix Leiter assigns him a mission to observe Auric Goldfinger, played by Gert Frobe, who has been winning at gin rummy too much. Bond disrupts Goldfinger's scam, resulting in his assistant Jill Masterson being killed by being painted gold, even though the film's explanation would result in anybody who puts on a wetsuit suffocating. But I digress. Anyway, Bond is sent to determine whether or not Goldfinger is illegally transporting his gold across the continents, but soon learns of a scheme known as Operation Grand Slam - a plot by the Chinese government to irradiate the gold in Fort Knox, causing economic collapse in the West while boosting the value of Goldfinger's own bullion reserves.

Despite the comments at the beginning, I don't actually hate this movie. There are some really enjoyable things, like the gadget-equipped Aston Martin DB5 that Bond uses, Goldfinger's Korean manservant Oddjob and his steel-rimmed top hat, Honor Blackman as aloof girl of the week Pussy Galore, not to mention the scene with the laser that everybody knows. However, I find the film's biggest issue to be a glaring one: Bond is a bystander. He gets captured in the first act, then he doesn't really do much after talking his way out of getting sawn in half. Leiter and the cavalry defeat the villains in the climax, although Bond does kill Oddjob, and they're the ones who disable the bomb. I actually find myself more interested in following Goldfinger's plan. He seems to have more pragmatism than other villains, like when the plan goes wrong, he reveals a colonel's uniform under his coat and kills his Chinese contact to avoid detection.

I suppose the other issue is that after Goldfinger, the films did tend to get a bit formulaic. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

I'll be back tomorrow when James Bond returns in Thunderball.


Hang on a minute. Did Bond just force himself on Pussy Galore? Christ, no wonder I was rooting for the bad guy.

James Bond Marathon: From Russia with Love

I like to compare this one to films like Aliens, or The Empire Strikes Back, in which the sequel is far superior to the first film.

Bond's new mission is to make contact with the girl of the week Tatiana Romanova, played by Daniella Bianchi. Romanova is a cipher clerk at the Russian consulate in Istanbul, who claims to have fallen in love with Bond's file photo, and is offering to defect with a highly sought after decoding machine used by the Russians. However, both are unaware that the defection is a scheme by the terrorist organisation SPECTRE, who seek revenge for the death of Dr No. SPECTRE's 'Number One' assigns the mission to Colonel Rosa Klebb, a former Soviet Intelligence officer played by Lotte Lenya, who manipulates Tatiana into thinking it is a mission to provide false intelligence to the British. Also recruited is the SPECTRE assassin Donald 'Red' Grant, played by Robert Shaw, whose mission is to monitor Bond until he acquires the decoder, then kill him and steal it so SPECTRE can sell it back to the Russians, thereby profiting from the revenge.

From Russia with Love sees the introduction of Desmond Llewellyn as Q, the MI6 inventor. Granted, Q had appeared in the previous film, played by Peter Burton, but was referred to as Major Boothroyd (named after a gunsmith who recommended the Walther PPK to Fleming), and all he ever issued was Bond's standard issue sidearm. This time around, he issues bond with an attaché case with a collapsible sniper rifle, a throwing knife. and a booby trap which detonates a tear gas cannister if opened incorrectly. Other gadgets include a watch with a concealed garrotte favoured by Grant, and a shoe with a poisoned toe-spike used by Klebb and a SPECTRE trainer (played by Walter Gottell, who would have a recurring role in the Moore films, but I'll get to that).

Set pieces include a brawl at Roma camp, a scuffle in a train car, and a boat chase. The action is kept down at first in favour of the espionage, but I have no problem with that. In fact, I think it works to the film's advantage.

The film's higher production value and more down-to-earth story and setting make this one of the best films of the Connery era, and one of my favourite films in the franchise.

I'll see you again soon for the next film.

James Bond Marathon: Dr No

I have no idea why the powers that be opted to adapt the sixth book in the series as the first Bond film. It wasn't even the most recent book in 1962. Well, maybe it was because Ian Fleming lived in Jamaica when he was writing.

Anyway, the first Bond film in the main series, starring Sean Connery as the titular secret agent. Bond is sent on a mission to Jamaica to investigate the disappearance of the local MI6 Station Chief. Aided by Felix Leiter of the CIA and a local fisherman named Quarrel, his investigation takes him to the island of Crab Key, owned by the reclusive Bauxite magnate and scientist known only as 'Dr No', played by Joseph Wiseman. After enduring numerous assassination attempts, such as a poisonous spider being placed in his hotel room, and an attack by a dragon, Bond is soon captured along with the shell diver Honey Ryder, played by Ursula Andress. Brought before the mad doctor, he learns of his plot to disrupt the Mercury space flights by 'toppling' the craft's guidance system with an atomic-powered radio beam.

I've heard that this film's budget was only $1 million, and it does show; some of the effects look really cheap, even by 1962's standards. However, my biggest issue lies with the character of Honey Ryder. Yes, she looks pretty in her white bikini and she has a great (dubbed) singing voice. But she is an utter load who hinders more than helps. I mean, she blows Bond's cover by sailing to Crab Key, which means they get detected by a radar. Yes, she shows them to a hiding place, but she does nothing else. Other than that, the film is an enjoyable experience.

Dr No is actually one of the few James Bond novels that I have actually read, and the film certainly deviates from the book in many ways. But I'm not going to go into that; it's an adaptation, so you have to make changes for one reason or another.

Despite the cheapness, I'd say that the film-makers did a great job. Bond is suave and daring, and you want to see him win against the odds. Dr No is suitably sinister with his mechanical arms, and the first of many evil lairs is a great one, with his mythical dragon keeping visitors from snooping around.

Not much else to say. I'll see you next time for the next film.

The James Bond Marathon

"My name is Bond. James Bond."

That line has been drifting through popular culture for more than 50 years. And if you include the books, more than 60.

Ian Fleming's symbol of British exceptionalism has been the one of the longest-running film franchises, and one of the greatest movie heroes of all time. And I'd like to honour this by looking at his cinematic progression over six actors and 22 (soon to be 23) films.

Starting tomorrow, I am going to be watching my way through the series, and posting my views here.

With guns, girls, gadgets, flash cars, perilous situations, good guys, bad guys, and whatever other buzz words I can put here, it will be a James Bond Marathon that is sure to leave you shaken, but not stirred.

The Goon Show

This is the BBC Home Service. Do you have a gorilla?

Today is the 64th anniversary of one my favourite radio comedies. I'm of course talking about the all leather Goon Show.

My late grandfather introduced me to this surreal comedy from the 1950s a while back. It has been in my mind ever since then. Initially starting out as a sketch comedy starring Harry Secombe, Spike Milligan, and Peter Sellers, it was later re-formatted into a sitcom with a recurring cast of principal characters.

Harry Secombe stars as the protagonist, an affable but gullible idiot named Neddie Seagoon. Meanwhile, Milligan and Sellers serve as a double act as the other characters: The world's greatest fool known simply as Eccles, East Finchley's long-suffering boy adventurer Bluebottle, the cowardly soldier Major Dennis Bloodnok, the doddering seniors Henry Crun and Minnie Bannnister, and the two main antagonists Hercules Grytpype-Thynne and Count Jim Moriarty. While the scenarios vary, the overall formula consists of Seagoon becoming a fall guy for the schemes of Grytpype and Moriarty, and meeting the other characters along the way.

As the opening sentence suggests, the show was built on surreal comedy, built on non-sequitur comebacks and sound effects. It's like a cartoon without any visuals, yet the musical interludes by Max Geldray and Ray Ellington give it the feeling of a variety show.

While there is the occasional joke that's a little offside by today's social standards, there is still a very timeless feel to the show. If you get the chance to hear some episodes, I recommend that you take it. They still make me laugh even today.

Owd Grandad Piggott

Back in November 2014, I did my first public reading as part of an event held at the Gladstone Pottery Museum in Stoke-on-Trent. While looking for inspiration, I was somehow led to a seemingly long-lost icon of Stoke; The Owd Grandad Piggott stories of Alan Povey.

For those who don't know, these stories were performance pieces written by Povey, which he read out on BBC Radio Stoke in the Seventies. Taking place in Longton in the 1950s and told from the author's perspective,  they relate to the misadventures of his neighbour, the cantankerous pensioner known only as Owd Grandad Piggott.

The title character is no role model: He smokes, drinks to excess, is incredibly foul-mouthed, generally unkempt in his personal appearance, and always in trouble with the law. He's the kind of person you love to hate. It's always great to hear him getting his just desserts.

There are few other characters who appear throughout the stories. These include Nana Piggott, his long-suffering wife, the pub landlord Tommy Dawkins, and Club Paper Jack, the man who would do anything for money except work. He's kind of like Del Trotter in that regard. The author sometimes gets involved too, often to make snarky responses to Piggott's complaints.

So, what happened?

Well, it was difficult for Owd Grandad to get much fanfare outside of Stoke-on-Trent, mainly because the stories required a strong understanding of the local Potteries dialect. But he might be fading away within Stoke too, as fewer people can relate to growing up there during the 50s. On top of that, the running themes of domestic violence may not sit well with a modern audience.

I think it's a neat little series, if you can get your hands on it. A few of the stories are available on YouTube from this channel here: https://www.youtube.com/user/Rasputin63xxx/videos

They're worth a listen, if you can understand them.

Well, that's about it. I didn't really have much else to say. I'll see you next time.

It's About Ethics in Journalism

A while back, I wrote a very scathing blog post about the phenomenon most of know as GamerGate. Well, I'm a little calmer, and I consider myself to be more anti-harassment than anti-GamerGate.

And this debate...is not actually the subject of this post. Instead, I want to talk about a show I've recently come across; Drop the Dead Donkey.

I don't think many people have come across this 90s Britcom as much as others like Blackadder or Red Dwarf. Well, it's probably because it's based on the current affairs of the time so it could be considered 'dated'.

The setting is Globelink News, a news network which has recently been acquired by a business magnate named Rupert Murdoch Robert Maxwell Sir Roysten Merchant. What promptly follows is the conflict between the editor George Dent and the staff who want to maintain the station's reputation as a serious news programme, and the new Chief Executive Gus Hedges, who's after a more sensationalist style while making sure they don't report on anything that may damage Sir Roysten's business empire.

The show has some great characters. George Dent is by all accounts an ethical journalist, but he's also a nervous wreck who's afraid to stand up to Gus - a management stereotype of the worst kind. George's assistant editor Alex Pates acts as the voice of reason, but has a strong cynical streak and fierce temper. The station's news anchors are Henry Davenport and Sally Smedley. Henry is a veteran reporter contemptuous of everything in the modern news industry. He's also an alcoholic, gambler, and womaniser, along with the sub-editor Dave Charnley. Meanwhile, Sally is very snobbish and vapid, hand-picked by Gus. This makes her very unpopular with the rest of staff, especially Henry.

Last but not least, there's the 'star reporter' Damien Day. He gets some hilarious moments from his habit of making his stories as sensationalist as possible. He's not exactly ethical about it either, but George can't dismiss him because Gus likes him too much.

There is a lot of snarking between everybody, but the clashing personalities work off each other very well.

As mentioned above, the shows are based on the current events from the time of transmission, but the DVD releases always state the events on which they were based.

Now, you're probably wondering what this has to do with GamerGate. Well, I think that if you're interested in ethics in journalism, you should check the series out. Although by mentioning this, I've probably pulled off a Damien.

A Post for World Book Day

So, today's World Book Day, and I've got a report looming over me like the anvil suspended over my head. Well, I have a moment, so I want to take the time to do a book review.

When I started writing, I wanted to do something reminiscent of the old pulp magazines. With that in mind, I'd like to talk about one of my favourite pulp tales; Johnston McCulley's The Curse of Capistrano, also known as The Mark of Zorro. First written in 1919 and serialised in All Story Weekly, it was the debut of the masked swashbuckler made popular by Antonio Banderas.

Most people know who Zorro is, but if you don't, here's a brief summary: Don Diego Vega is a Spanish nobleman living in California during the early 19th Century. To most people, he's a lazy fop who detests any form of physical activity. However, this is all a façade, as he secretly assumes the persona of Señor Zorro (Mr Fox), a masked swordsman who protects the oppressed while fighting corruption and injustice.

The original story follows Diego as he tries to win the heart of Lolita Pulida, the daughter of an impoverished noble, while she is attracted to Zorro. Also present is Captain Ramon, the local military commander, and his underling Sergeant Gonzales, a friend of Diego who is determined to find Zorro. On top of that, Zorro is often appearing to punish anybody in power who abuse others.

The story has plenty of swashbuckling action and heroics, along with a surprisingly tight ending. In fact, McCulley only intended to write one story. It was Douglas Fairbanks who popularised the story by starring in the 1920 silent film, The Mark of Zorro. The success brought Zorro into the popular culture, with McCulley writing more adventures between 1922 up until his death in 1958. While that was going on, his hero was appearing in numerous serials, TV shows, and more film adaptations, including a sound remake of the Douglas Fairbanks film in 1940, and the more well-known 1998 film, The Mask of Zorro. I saw that again recently, and it holds up really well.

Like most pulp characters, the continuity is very loose. The original stories take place during the period when California was part of Mexico, but some versions take place slightly earlier, when it was still under Spanish rule. Other versions of the story establish him as a legacy character. For example, the 1937 serial Zorro Rides Again takes place in a contemporary setting, with the persona assumed by Diego's great-grandson James Vega. The Republic serials are available on YouTube, and are quite entertaining. The two I recommend are Zorro Rides Again and Zorro's Fighting Legion.

While most of the other stories are quite hard to find, the original story is public domain, and available here: https://archive.org/details/markzorro