The Curse of Bully Hayes

Being a writer, I sometimes find that bad films can be a good source of inspiration. Granted, I wouldn't pay anything more than a Netflix subscription to watch them, but when I do, I always try and ask myself what can be improved.

And because one of my current projects is a pirate story, this brings up one Unholy Grail of sorts in the form of Nate and Hayes, a 1983 adventure film starring Tommy Lee Jones in one of his early roles; a highly romanticised portrayal of William "Bully" Hayes, a pirate and smuggler who operated in the South Pacific during the 1850s up until his murder in 1877. In the film, Hayes is providing passage to a missionary named Nathaniel Williamson and his fiancée Sophie, when she is kidnapped by rival pirate Ben Pease. What follows is a traditional swashbuckling adventure with plenty of set pieces (including a rope bridge scene).

While Tommy Jones and the other actors do seem to be enjoying themselves, the story is minimal, the characters are flat, and action set pieces have all been done before (although that is sort of expected in a swashbuckler). It was ultimately a commercial failure, with audiences and critics alike regarding it as a blatant cash-in on the success of Raiders of the Lost Ark. This is where the 'curse' came into play; the film's failure prompted the Hollywood subconsciousness to regard pirate films as box office poison for the next twenty years. It wasn't until Pirates of the Caribbean came along that they changed their attitude. In fact, they were worried that Pirates of the Caribbean wouldn't be successful, and look how that turned out. Unless the fourth sequel scares them back into their shell, that is.

But is the film that horrible? Not really. There just isn't much to it. It's a B-movie, plain and simple. Something to accompany a night of drinking. It was actually the 'curse' that drew me to it.

The film is on currently Netflix, and great for rounding off your bank holiday.

Regarding Guy Hamilton (And Prince)

I read a Facebook post last night which said "I'm starting to suspect that George R.R. Martin is the author behind 2016."

Yesterday, the musician Prince was taken from us too soon at the age of 57. To be honest, I didn't have much exposure to his work, other than a couple songs used in Tim Burton's Batman and the most risqué joke ever to appear in Animaniacs.

However, we also lost film director Guy Hamilton, who directed four of the Bond films (Goldfinger, Diamonds are Forever, Live and Let Die, and The Man with the Golden Gun). Having spent last October watching all the Bond films, I think it's obvious whose work I've had more exposure to.

To be honest, I don't think these were the greatest films in the series - even Goldfinger. I enjoyed it, but I think it has some major issues which I talked about last October. But despite that, I find that all those films still had some memorable moments. Everyone remembers the famous cutting laser scene from Goldfinger, along with the boat chase from Live and Let Die.

If we're not talking about Bond, then I'd also like to mention the Colditz Story, one of his earlier works. That was also a very enjoyable film, with some great tension along with some very touching moments and even a bit of comedy.

Rest in Peace, Guy Hamilton. Just like Prince, your work will always be remembered.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Well, I've finally been able to see the new Star Wars film, and boy is it a great one!

Here's the rundown: Taking place 30 years after Return of the Jedi, Luke Skywalker has vanished, the New Republic is being threatened by an Imperial remnant known as The First Order, but are being countered by The Resistance led by General Leia. On the desert world of Jakku, a map showing Luke's whereabouts is entrusted to the droid BB-8, who eludes the First Order's Stormtroopers led by Kylo Ren, who looks a little bit like Revan from Knights of the Old Republic.

Anyway, BB-8 ends up with the new young heroes of the series: A reformed First Order Stormtrooper called Finn, and a young scavenger called Rey. When the First Order closes in, they are forced to steal a second-hand ship which turns out to be the legendary Millennium Falcon. This promptly reunites them with Han Solo and Chewbacca, who have gone back to smuggling.

Story-wise, the film does seem to be a rehash of A New Hope, but I'd make the argument that it was what people wanted. The new protagonists are very likeable characters, and the old-timers of the previous trilogy are equally good. I think the key word here would be balance. A balance between old timers, and newcomers, humour and drama, along with practical effects and CGI.

I'm going to be very minimalist with this, as revealing any more will spoil some major things. As mentioned above, the film does recycle elements from A New Hope, but don't let that dissuade you, as there are still plenty of surprises. Anybody who has seen the film will know what I'm talking about. Overall, it is the cinematic experience of a Star Wars film updated for the modern age, done properly this time.

Or as Han put it: "Chewie, we're home."

Franchise Reviews: Return of the Jedi

I'd have to say right now that this is the film I like the least within the classic trilogy. But does that mean I hate it? Not at all. But there are some major problems that are hard to ignore.

Let's address the main one; the stories. Yes, there are two stories in this film which have little to do with each other.  The stories aren't bad, they're just distant.

The first part sort of picks up where the last film ended, with Luke and his friends trying to rescue Han Solo from the crime boss Jabba the Hutt. I do love the visuals and low lighting within Jabba's palace, where he lives like some kind of medieval robber-baron. Lando is already undercover, Luke offers him his droids as a goodwill present, while Leia poses as a bounty hunter and hands over Chewie to gain access to Han. When her cover is blown and she is made a slave, Luke comes in himself but is also captured after defeating one large beast, and is then scheduled to be fed to another. However, he is confident that he can escape, so I can't really tell whether he's improvising or planned a capture from the beginning. But it means we get one man-on-monster deathmatch followed by an all-out brawl with Jabba's goons. When you get down to it, you just need to have some action.

After that somewhat lengthy diversion, the main story begins. The Rebels have discovered that the Empire is building a new Death Star, and the Emperor himself is overseeing the construction, now the battle is on to end this war once and for all. Han leads a commando team to a forest moon to destroy a shield generator protecting the Death Star so Lando can lead a space assault. Meanwhile, Luke travels to the Death Star with Darth Vader in the hopes of turning who is now revealed to be his father. There, he meets the Emperor, who seeks to corrupt him. This results in the action being divided into three parts: The duel between Luke and Vader; the space battle; and the land battle where the Rebels are aided by a group of teddy bears.

Wait, what?

I'm with a lot of fans that the Ewoks were a kind of stupid addition to the climax with a less-than-subtle environmental message. But to give them some credit, they are kind of resourceful, and they do hold their own against the Empire. Besides, I watched Pom Poko, so I can't really complain.

In conclusion, Return of the Jedi is by no means a bad film, but it's not the great follow-up to The Empire Strikes Back, although that's a hard act to follow. Nonetheless, the action is still great, the characters are memorable, and they do get some truly emotional scenes.

Of course, killing the Emperor would not mean the war would end. So naturally, there is room for more films (not prequels). I'll talk about The Force Awakens when I can get tickets for it.

See you then, and may the Force be with you. (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist)

Franchise Reviews: The Empire Strikes Back

This is one of those sequels that is a significant improvement over the previous instalment, and is not just my favourite film in the franchise but also one of my favourite films of all time.

Taking place some time after the previous film (three years, according to Wookiepedia), the Rebel Alliance is on the run, being relentlessly pursued by the Empire. Their new headquarters on the ice world of Hoth has been overrun, and Luke Skywalker has been separated from his friends, travelling to a swamp planet with R2D2 with the intention of learning the ways of the Force from a Muppet called Yoda. Meanwhile, Han, Chewie, Leia, and C3P0 are attempting to escape the Imperial fleet while searching for a safe haven.

I think this film works because of the low point the heroes are in. After a spectacular land battle in which the Rebels are routed, you want to follow them as they try to escape. Wherever they go, Darth Vader is always behind them, never letting up. Even an old friend of Han's betrays them to the Empire. Meanwhile, Luke's training with Yoda explores the fantastical aspects of the world, and his impulse to save his friends could put him on the beginning of a dark path.

And that's all I really have to say. There's not that much I can really fault.

Well, that was short and sweet.

Franchise Reviews: Star Wars - A New Hope

Well, I figured I might as well start with the first movie. And by that I mean A New Hope, or just Star Wars for the those purists out there.

I think everything about this movie has been said. There's a war between a Rebel Alliance and the Galactic Empire, the Empire has a WMD called the Death Star, and the rebels have managed to steal the data tapes for it. Did I mention this was the Seventies?

Anyway, Princess Leia (played by Carrie Fisher) is about to get captured by the sinister Darth Vader and entrusts the plans to C3P0 and R2D2, a pair of bickering robots who end up in the possession of Luke Skywalker, a young farmer played by Mark Hamill. Luke embarks on a quest to bring the plans to the Alliance with the help of the old mentor figure Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness), cynical smuggler Han Solo (Harrison Ford), and his co-pilot Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew).

Despite the relatively simple plot, this film came out at a time when Hollywood's creative classes had the most creative control, yet it stood out amongst the rest. The Escapist's film critic Bob Chipman described this film as 'a bizarre dream project which combined mythic fantasy, samurai melodrama and pulp sci-fi". But does it hold up? I think so, despite a couple of flaws, most of which is nitpicking, but I'll try and go for the most glaring issues. Luke does get a bit whiny at times and Leia's British accent seems a bit off (definitely Liverpool). Plus, she does seem to take that whole "planet being destroyed" business rather well (which was satirised in Robot Chicken). Not to mention that C3P0 seems to make a couple of stupid choices, but I suppose he's out of his element. George Lucas is both writing and directing this one, so the acting and dialogue is wooden at times, but there are still plenty of notable quotables.

Then again, I love the imagination, with the ship designs and the aliens in Mos Eisley, and the main characters are suitably heroic to keep me interested. Not to mention there is some great action scenes, whether it's Luke and Han blundering their way through the Death Star to rescue Leia, or the climactic space battle at the end. That trench run scene always feels tense every time I watch it.

I suppose I'm letting nostalgia take up too much of this. Then again, the fact that such an experimental film with a cast of virtual unknowns (with the exception of Alec Guinness and Peter Cushing) was able to do so well is an impressive feat. Although I suppose the merchandising had something to with that. 

"Where the real money is made".

Overall, it's a fun sci-fi adventure that's a great little time-waster.

Franchise Reviews: Star Wars

Since I watched and posted reviews of all the James Bond films back in October, I figured I might see what other film franchises I could do the same with. With that in mind, I heard there's a new Star Wars film out. I haven't seen it yet. I was going to, but then a stomach bug got in the way. Karma can be a massive tosser sometimes.

So while I make a recovery and wait for another date to watch the new film, I figured I might pass the time by watching the original trilogy. The version I'm specifically looking at will by the 2004 DVD trilogy. It's not the best, but they did straighten out some of the more controversial changes of the 1997 Special Edition films.

Granted, there might be a fair few retrospective reviews coming out around this time, but I figured I might throw in my two cents as well.

James Bond Marathon: SPECTRE

Well, I'm 22 years old now, and is there better way to spend a birthday than watching the new Bond film on the day of its release? Well, apparently there is. But when you make a promise to the Internet you have to keep it.

The film starts with Bond in Mexico, foiling an attack on a stadium by blowing up somewhere else. After the unfortunate international incident that follows, M suspends Bond while trying to cope with a new merger orchestrated by Moriarty from Sherlock. Then a bunch of other stuff happens which results in Bond encountering a criminal organisation called SPECTRE, headed by Christoph Waltz.

This film seemed all over the place. It's like they couldn't decide whether or not they wanted to have a mindless action film or to try and explore the psychology of Bond. Yeah, it's a bit convoluted. I came into this film expecting something among the lines of Tomorrow Never Dies; the previous film was asking the question of Bond's relevance in an age of digital surveillance, so this film could decide the answer was "Yes." and go back to basics.

Christoph Waltz had the potential to be a great Bond villain, but I don't think he was able to pull it off. His character just didn't seem to bring the best of his talent out. Meanwhile, Léa Sydoux plays the girl of the week Madeleine Swann. Unfortunately, any interesting character development she expects devolves into playing the damsel.

To be honest, I think the real hero of this film is Q. He seems to save the day in the end, and he brings some great jokes into the film.

In conclusion, I found this film to be a rather disappointing one. Unless you're also planning to marathon all the films, you can probably give this one a miss.

Now, I'm off to see if I can upstage Sam Smith by doing a cover of the song he wrote for this using a party blower. And no, I'm not going to record that so don't ask me to.

James Bond Marathon: Wrap-up

My overall view of the James Bond films was that it got a bit formulaic after Goldfinger. I still think that's the case, but I have found they have still managed to have a lot of variety with this formula. Having said that, this null hypothesis does mean that I can find the more down-to-earth stories a very welcome break.

I think that the variety would stem from how distinct each version of Bond is. Sean Connery is great for setting up the groundwork, while Roger Moore was able to give the films a sense of fun and clever light-heartedness (for the most part). Meanwhile, I also enjoy the gritty realism brought to the table by Timothy Dalton and Daniel Craig. But while Dalton tries to maintain this within the formula, Craig more or less does as he pleases. Pierce Brosnan was able to balance the grittiness and light-heartedness, providing fun for all the family. I sometimes wonder what it might have been like if George Lazenby stayed in the role. He seems to be trying to emulate Connery, and didn't have enough time to truly grasp a character.

Anyway, I think I should include some kind of countdown of top 5 and bottom 5, so here goes:

The Tops:

5) The Spy Who Loved Me

4) The Living Daylights

3) For Your Eyes Only

2) GoldenEye

1) From Russia With Love

The Bottoms:

5) A View to a Kill

4) Diamonds are Forever

3) The Man with the Golden Gun

2) Moonraker

1) Die Another Day

I'll let you argue my decisions and plug in the gaps as you see fit.

As for the upcoming SPECTRE; I probably won't be able to see it right away, but when I do, you can expect me to do a post about it.

I hope you enjoyed these short reviews, and I'm sure I can think of something else to blog about if the fiction's slow. Until next time.

James Bond Marathon: Skyfall

I really can't decide whether the best film of the Craig era is Casino Royale or this one.

An MI6 safe-house in Istanbul has been raided, so Bond is trying to stop the perpetrator from escaping with a list of deep-cover agents working in terrorist groups. Following an action-packed chase culminating in a punch-up on a train, Bond is accidentally shot by his partner Eve, played by Naomie Harris, and falls off a bridge.

Three months later, Bond has been declared 'missing presumed dead', and M is under fire from her superiors in the government, especially Lord Voldemort. Following a bombing at the MI6 headquarters, Bond comes out of a drunken semi-retirement and returns to London. After being (incorrectly) declared fit for duty, this time without seducing any physicians, he is assigned to find out who is responsible for the attack. A trail from Shanghai to Macau soon identifies the culprit as Mr Silva, an ex-MI6 agent from M's past, played by Javier Bardem.

This film is very similar to GoldenEye, as it is once again examining Bond's purpose, this time in a digital age. However, it takes it a step further by examining M's relevance too. At the same time, they bring back some of the more classical elements of the films. We see the return of Q, now played by Ben Whishaw, but he doesn't have any exploding pens. Also returning is Miss Moneypenny.

Daniel Craig is certainly playing a very flawed Bond. He's a physical wreck, barely able to contend with the work he's going through, and soon finds himself questioning his loyalties. But the real star of the show is Mr Silva. He is diabolical while assuming a very flamboyant persona. I'm not the greatest fan of camp characters, but he pulls it off very well. It's certainly different from his performance in No Country for Old Men, but Mr Silva and Anton are villains I'd equally fear.

There is a great action-packed prologue, along with a climax at Bond's ancestral home. And the ending is very poignant.

This might be one of my favourites. Let's see how the next one fares.

James Bond Marathon: Quantum of Solace

Hmmm...not too sure about this one. I've heard it to be regarded as a bad Bond film, but I can't really see why.

The film essentially carries on from where the last film left off, in which Bond has captured Le Chiffre's employer, known only as Mr White. And no, he's not played by Harvey Keitel, but by Jesper Christensen. Anyway, he soon escapes from MI6 custody with the aid of a traitor who is promptly killed by Bond. He soon identifies the traitor's contact as environmentalist Dominic Greene, played by Mathieu Amalric, who is plotting to aid an exiled Bolivian general stage a coup. Oh, and there's a girl of the week who wants to kill the general to avenge her parents. That's on top of Bond being motivated by revenge for the death of Vesper.

The overall story is very similar to Licence to Kill, with a predominately South American setting and Bond seeking revenge. However, I think it does work a little better thanks to Bond being on official business this time. Then again, that scenario still might have more potential, but I'm fine with it. Although I'm not too sure about Dominic Greene's motives. It seems a little contrived.

Odd plots aside, the action is still great. There's a great gadget-free car chase at the beginning, along with a pulley-fight not long afterwards. So, why wouldn't people like this film? Perhaps it's Daniel Craig. He gets some of the coldest moments in the history of the character in this film. That's fair enough, as he's supposed to be closer to the Bond of the books. But the Bond of the books would be wincing at some of his actions.

That's about it. I'll just say "It's good. Not Great."

Hang on, the environmentalist villain certainly does recycle elements and imagery from the older films.

Sorry, I'll go now. I've only got one film left to do.