2018: A Retrospective

Once more around the sun. As 2018 draws to a close, I thought I might take an opportunity to look back on the events of the past year, as I went through some major life changes. After a rocky (not to mention cold) start, I think this year really worked out.

At first, I was still working full-time as an accountant. I'd been in this particular job for over a year, and felt like it was getting in the way of my writing, and had been acting on Twitter. It was in May that these tweets were picked up, resulting in my dismissal, but at that point I was making plans to leave anyway. Said plans were to go to university to study creative writing, and as soon as I got home, I made a start on the UCAS application.

I actually felt happier after leaving the job, as I now had time to catch up on lost sleep, get a couple of good books in, and revise one of my WIPs. I've actually sent that off, but I'm still waiting to hear back. I also did a review marathon of the Asterix comics, and found them to be a lot funnier than I originally remembered them to be.

One unexpected fortune occurred when I contacted a previous employer for a university reference, and was offered a summer job. I never thought I'd be working somewhere like that again, but I was offered a second chance and took it. After all, it was part-time, which worked better for me.

Anyway, I've left that job again, and have since started studying for BA in Creative Writing. Life's a lot fuller at university. I might not be spending as much time as I'd like to on my regular WIPs, but I've started a journal which I'm writing in every day, along with the creative assignments. It was through these assignments that I've started to expand into poetry.

I'm going to sound very full of myself now, and say that in the last few months of the year, I've been able to look at myself in the mirror and sincerely say "I'm awesome!"

See you all in 2019!

Happy writing.

No NaNo This Year

My latest WIP

Well, November and National Novel Writing Month have been and gone. It's now December, so I can technically enjoy the Christmas decorations and songs (not too mention a few seasonal freebies at my lodgings this coming week).

Anyway, as stated above, November is National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo for short. This annual writing challenge involves writing 50,000 words in 30 days. Not always easy when life gets in the way. My relationship with the tradition has been...interesting to say the least.

I tried NaNo back in 2016, and managed 34,000 words, but realised that I have a rather laconic writing style which is more suited to short stories. I was working at that time, but I had Fridays and the weekends to catch up if I fell behind. Regardless, I decided it probably wasn't for me.

When November came around again in 2017, I was working in another job which was full-time. Since I'd been struggling with fitting my writing around the new hours, I elected not to do the actual challenge, but pay lip service and try and write every day. Even if it was making a plan at work. I kind of managed, but wasn't able to keep it up afterwards.

This year, I've been at university and have had assignments due in November. I would argue that the point of the challenge is to teach you to write every day, but I'm pretty much doing that anyway, so I didn't bother with anything NaNo-related this year. It's mainly been my journal and the creative assignments.

However, since a lot of my output lately has been poetry, I'm tempted to do National Poetry Writing Month in April. Since there isn't a word count goal, I think that allows a lot more flexibility.

I'll speak about that in April.

Happy writing.

University Life: Revisiting Laser Tag

I love it when a poem comes together

It's been a while since I've put anything on here, mainly because university life is a lot fuller than the 9 to 5 life. In addition to writing full time and experimenting with different kinds of writing (especially poetry), I've also taken up fencing and started playing Dungeons & Dragons again. Although I might say that was one of the reasons I wanted to go to university in the first place.

However, one of the strangest hobbies I've picked up has been laser tag. This used to be a popular activity for birthday parties back when I was in primary school, but after discovering there was a society for it, I decided to take it up again as another means to indulge my quarter-life crisis. Plus the Megazone in Leicester offers great student nights.

For those who are unfamiliar, let me explain: Laser tag is essentially a real-life shoot-em-up. You go into an arena with the pack I'm wearing in the image, and score points by shooting at the other players, aiming for the lights on the packs. If you're hit, your pack goes offline for a few seconds before you can shoot again. Different areas of the pack yield different points, and there are also three bases and numerous targets which yield bonus points when shot. There's also a touch screen in the arena which dispenses random power-ups, such as shields or rapid fire.

Games can be solo or team-based, and sometimes there are special rules to mix things up. Examples include:

• Mario's Mushrooms, in which the targets strewn around the arena give you power-ups when shot.
• Friend or Foe, a team game in which everybody's packs display the same colours, and you lose points for shooting teammates. My hat comes useful here.
• Insanity, a team game in which the teams change randomly during the game.

If there's anything I do have to criticise, it's the fact that the guns have to be fired two-handed. There's a heat sensor on the front grip which enforces this. If your hand's not on there, the weapon won't fire and will beep angrily at you. That's all well and good, but when your hand sweats it can slip in the spur of the moment.

There are also times when some modes can have glitches. For example, one game known as "Random Madness" involves players' colours randomly changing between blue, red, yellow, and green. Only the blue players can score points, while the other colours yield different point values. Unfortunately, sometimes it ends up with every player being blue, except for one. But to be fair, that does result in some particularly humorous games.

All in all, I'm glad I joined that society, because it's a lot of fun.

Review: Red Dead Redemption 2

Sorry, I've been off the radar for a while. Student life keeps me busy, and I've been observing the fact that I've now been living for a quarter of a century by playing through one of my most anticipated games of the year; Red Dead Redemption II. I've mentioned previously that Red Dead Redemption is one of my favourite games of all time, and I was so hyped for the follow-up that I did those Western Weekend reviews.

This one is actually a prequel, taking place in 1899 (12 years before the previous game) and focused on the waning days of an outlaw gang led by Dutch van der Linde from the perspective of Dutch's protege, Arthur Morgan. Following a botched robbery in the town of Blackwater, the gang is forced to lead a nomadic lifestyle while continuing to pull off robberies to support themselves. As time passes, they find themselves facing conflict on multiple fronts: the bounty hunters who pursue them from Blackwater; a rival outlaw gang led by Colm O'Driscoll; Leviticus Cornwall, an oil magnate who has the Pinkerton Detective Agency in his service; highly volatile new gang member Micah Bell; heists which carry greater risks and lesser rewards; and Dutch's gradually eroding sanity.

The story seems reminiscent of films like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid or The Wild Bunch. However, I think they really stretched things out. It's about halfway through the game when all the internal conflict happens. But I love the characters who make up the gang, including characters who would go on to appear in the first game presented in a different light. I also like a lot of the new characters they introduced, such as Lenny and Charles, and Sadie Adler. When the story does kick off, it gets really poignant.

The open world is a lot bigger than the first one, and they tried to make the game a lot more realistic, utilising RPG elements similar to those used in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. You can have meals in towns, sleep and bathe in hotels, get drunk, and even visit barbers. You also have to take greater care of your horse, and could be stranded if it dies in the wilderness. You can also hunt for provisions to keep the gang fed. This is optional, but they do look on you more favourably if you ride into camp with a deer carcass on the back of your horse.

However, the realism sometimes adds a little tedium. Travelling takes a while, and you never know what you'll run into in the wilderness. The "core" system can take a bit of getting used to. You have metres for health, stamina, "dead-eye", horse health, and horse stamina, but these also have cores which are maintained by eating and sleeping regularly. If the cores are low, the stats regenerate slower. There's also the fact that weapons have to be primed before they can be fired again, which I sometimes forget to do in a firefight.

OK, I'm starting to nitpick a bit. Despite those relatively minor issues, it's a great game, and I kill a lot of time when playing it. I finished the main story in a week, but I'm trying to avoid free-roam for the sake of my upcoming assignments.

There is one thing I do wish to talk about, but it involves major spoilers. Highlight the text below to read on.

The end of the game involves a prolonged epilogue in which you play as John Marston, the protagonist of the first Red Dead Redemption, as he tries to get out of the outlaw life and sets up a farm. During this time, he does a few jobs with Sadie Adler, who now works as a bounty hunter, and you continue to play as him in the free-roam after all the story missions are completed. Personally, I think it would be more fitting to do the post-game free-roam as Sadie, as she is still bounty hunting while John has settled down with his family and waiting for the FBI to pick him up to initiate the events of the previous game. It's not a major issue, but I think it was a missed opportunity.

All in all, I think it was worth the wait, and I recommend the game. In fact, when I go home for Christmas, I think I'll play through the first one again.

Best Blackadder Moments #8: I Spy (General Hospital)

Something beginning with...M

Well, it's my last pick, and this time I'm going with a short moment from the beginning of the penultimate episode.

It's basically what it says on the tin: George and Baldrick sitting in the dugout playing I-Spy. The jokes practically write themselves, and it perfectly depicts their stupidity as Blackadder gets increasingly frustrated.

Baldrick can't clue into the fact that George is looking at a mug, despite the Lieutenant's increasingly obvious hints. Eventually, Blackadder answers correctly and gets a turn. Unfortunately, Baldrick's knowledge of the alphabet is minimal, and two different clues produce three equally hilarious responses which culminate in Blackadder punching him out. I'll let you watch the video for the exact details.

The game is cut short by a bomb landing in the trench, which George managed to hear but ended up working into the game. Which is topped by Blackadder's nonchalant reaction when he hears it.

Again, it's a small moment, but one which allows the main characters to work off one another.

I hope you've enjoyed these moments, and feel free to tell me your favourite moments. I might do some more blogging soon if I get a moment during my studies. In fact, some of my later blog posts could potentially be for my studies.

Until then, happy writing.

Best Blackadder Moments #7: Blackadder's Court Martial (Corporal Punishment)

The Flanders Pigeon Murderer!

Who would have thought you could get so many laughs from a show trial in which a person's life is on the line?

Captain Blackadder attempts to exploit a cross-communication issue to avoid a costly advance. When headquarters tries to relay the message through a carrier pigeon, he shoots the pigeon and eats it. Unfortunately, the pigeon happens to be General Melchett's favourite pet, Speckled Jim. When his deception is discovered, Blackadder is arrested, where he faces a court martial and potential execution for disobeying orders.

The trial itself piles on the laughs befroe it's even started, when it's revealed that the upper-class twit Lieutenant George is acting as Blackadder's defence council. To make matters worse,  Blackadder's nemesis Captain Darling is acting as the prosecution, but he isn't too worried until a loud bleat indicates that Melchett is the judge.

It soon becomes perfectly obvious that the outcome of the trial has been determined before it's even started. Melchett is more concerned with Blackadder shooting his pigeon than the official charge of disobeying orders. He also fines George for wasting the court's time by turning up, refers to Blackadder as the "deceased" rather than the "defendant", and claims to be needing his black cap (which is traditionally worn on top of a judicial wig when passing a death sentence, but is worn without the wig here).

Anyway, George does not help matters because his choice of witnesses: Captain Darling, who simply gives more evidence against Blackadder; and Private Baldrick, who is told by Blackadder to deny everything and takes it literally, prompting a head-desk from Blackadder. As for Darling's case, he simply calls Melchett as a witness and incites him against Blackadder.

All the main characters get their moments to shine during the trial, and it produces some true comedic gold.

Best Blackadder Moments #6: The Macbeth Ritual (Sense and Senility)

Macbeth!

For my second pick from Blackadder the Third, I'm going to go with a more slapstick-oriented joke.

Blackadder has prepared a speech for The Prince Regent to give as part of his father's royal  birthday celebrations, and the Prince seeks elocution lessons from thespians David Keanrick and Enoch Mossop, played by Hugh Paddick and Kenneth Connor. Blackadder has nothing but contempt for actors, but nonetheless agrees to seek them out.

However, he gets a kick from an actors' superstition in which it is bad luck to say the name "Macbeth" outside of rehearsals or performances. If someone does mention Macbeth, the actors must perform a special ritual which consists of patty-cake and arm winding motions while saying an incantation, concluding with them tweaking each other's noses. Blackadder casually winds the name into the conversation at every opportunity, prompting the actors to perform the ritual six times in one scene.

There has been one of many unusual internet debates over what exactly they say during the ritual. The general consensus (what it said on Wikipedia last time I checked) seems to be "Hot Potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends." The first and last parts are clear enough, but the middle part is the subject for debate. It sounds like "off his drawers" or "off the shores".

Anyway, flame risk aside, I think it's a great example of comedy stemming from somebody else's pain.

Macbeth!

Best Blackadder Moments #5: The Dunny-on-the-Wold By-election (Dish and Dishonesty)

Sorry Mr Biggun

We're now in the third series, and following the most ruthless incarnation of Edmund Blackadder. And now I'm needing to provide a little more background as the writers get more accustomed to episode-length stories.

The petulant teenager William Pitt the Younger has become Prime Minister, and seeks to strike the Prince Regent from the Civil List. Parliament is deadlocked on the issue, so Blackadder attempts to tip the balance by leaning on an MP named Sir Talbot Buxomley. Sir Talbot pledges his support for the Prince...and promptly dies, triggering a by-election in his constituency of Dunny-on-the-Wold, a rubber button rotten borough in which the landowner controls the voters and the MP. Blackadder proposes a scheme to have Baldrick run in the by-election against the Prime Minister's brother, Pitt the Even Younger.

Baldrick becoming a politician. The jokes practically write themselves, especially with the by-election coverage which spoofs contemporary British election coverage. They even got former BBC political commentator Vincent Hanna to make a guest appearance as "his own great-great-grandfather". He practically steals the scene with his deadpan delivery of such absurd lines.

There's also Ivor Biggun running for the "Standing at the Back Dressed Stupidly and Looking Stupid Party", whose policies include the compulsory serving of asparagus at breakfast, free corsets for the under-fives, and the abolition of slavery. For the international readers of this blog, we do have candidates who run for the Official Monster Raving Loony Party, such as one who recently ran in Stoke called The Incredible Flying Brick. As much as I like asparagus, I don't want it every day. Particularly if it's out of season.

There's also some historical irony in the scene, as William Pitt himself was actually elected through a rotten borough. On top of that, Pitt the Even Younger is mentioned to be running for the Whigs, who acted as the left-wing party in Parliament for a long time before the Labour Party appeared in the early 20th Century. Pitt the Younger was with the right-wing Tory party.

The episode this scene appears in has become so popular that it's often repeated whenever there's an election being held. It's absolutely sublime, and one of the best comedic moments.

Best Blackadder Moments #4: Hiring Captain Rum (Potato)

You have a woman's link, my Lord!

I'm really piling on the guest appearances for these moments.

Lord Blackadder is disdainful of Sir Walter Raleigh's recent return, and attempts to upstage him by claiming to be preparing an expedition around the much-feared Cape of Good Hope. The captain who is purported to know the safe route is Redbeard Rum, played by Tom Baker.

Unfortunately, Redbeard is completely deranged and delightfully over-the-top. He claims that every part of Blackadder's body is a woman's, because it has not been exposed to hardships of maritime life. Exposure which sounds really exaggerated. This wears thin on Blackadder, leading to the captain's disdain until our protagonist insults him.

While we're following a more dashing and intelligent Blackadder in this series, it's kind of funny that he doesn't really have a witty retort to being called "a lapdog to the slip of a girl".

Other than "Better a lapdog to the slip of a girl than a...git."

However, this works, and Redbeard takes the job as captain. Following another ridiculous story about having a woman's legs, Blackadder tempts fate and calls out Redbeard's claim...only for one of the funniest payoffs which I'll leave the attached link to show.

While Tom Baker has said this may not be his favourite role, he provides most of the comedic gold in the episode from his ridiculous stories to the later reveal that his sailing expertise is not even minimal.

Best Blackadder Moments #3: Blackadder and Kate's Wedding (Bells)

Enter the Best Man

We're now moving to the second season of Blackadder. Ben Elton has replaced Rowan Atkinson as a writer, and the roles between Blackadder and Baldrick have been reversed.

The humour of the first episode shown retains the Shakespearean aspect of the previous season with a story similar to Twelfth Night. A woman named Kate poses as a boy called Bob to find work as a servant in Lord Blackadder's employ. After Blackadder becomes attracted to "Bob" and the truth is revealed, he soon wishes to marry her.

I've heard the writers were challenged to get more laughs in the last five minutes of the episode than anywhere else. And that's accomplished with Blackadder's best man, the boisterous and arrogant Lord Flashheart. Played by Rik Mayall, Flashheart parodies the heroic image of the archetypal swashbuckler which accentuates the flaws of such archetypes, and is a highly promiscuous and narcissistic womaniser.

Anyway, Flashheart arrives late at the wedding, but makes a spectacular entrance. He immediately throws Percy out, seduces Nursie and the queen (and even Baldrick, who was acting as the bridesmaid), insults Melchett, and promptly elopes with Kate.

Flashheart's dialogue and over-the-top presence is pretty much comedic gold, accentuating how full of himself he is. My favourite line is definitely when he says to Melchett "Still worshipping God? The last I heard he's started worshipping me!"

While the reduced budget of this series shows when he nearly takes the set down by throwing Percy through the doors, I still think that adds to the humour.

Rik Mayall gave off such a good performance that he would later return with a much larger role in Blackadder Goes Forth, applying the same style of parody to a World War I flying ace.

Woof!

Best Blackadder Moments #2: Don Speekingleesh (The Queen of Spain's Beard)

Clip

Wow, Jim Broadbent looks really young in this episode.

Prince Edmund is arranged to marry the Spanish Infanta, played by Miriam Margolyes, whom he soon discovers to be...not as beautiful as many speculated. She also happens to be very sexually voracious, to the Black Adder's terror. Most of this episode involves him trying to get out of the marriage with constantly backfiring results.

Anyway, the funniest part of the episode involves Jim Broadbent as the Infanta's ever-present translator, whose name is revealed in the credits as Don Speekingleesh. The main source of humour stems from his word-for-word translation of everything the Infanta says. I'll pick their introductory scene for this moment, in which the Infanta's declaration of love is being translated and Edmund believes that the translator is trying to woo him. Well, he did say that he was the Infanta.

Anyway, that's the weaker series out of the way. Tomorrow I'll start looking at my favourite moments from Blackadder II.

Best Blackadder Moments #1: The Profit Areas of the Church (The Archbishop)

Relics

Yes, I'm going to be looking at the first season of Blackadder. Even if it is mostly Shakespearean in-jokes and the rubber-faced buffoonery which Rowan Atkinson would later put to better use in Mr Bean, it still gets a fair share of laughs.

Anyway, my first pick (I'm going in chronological order) is from the episode in which Prince Edmund is appointed as Archbishop of Canterbury (the fourth person to be appointed that year), in the hopes that he will convince dying nobles to bequeath their lands to the Crown rather than the Church. The episode features a strong religious satire, and draws heavily on the events surrounding the death of actual Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas Becket, who was assassinated after conflicting with King Henry II over matters of the Church.

After actually winning his father's favour for once, The Black Adder and Percy learn from Baldrick about the four major profit areas of the church: curses, pardons, relics, and "selling the sexual favours of nuns" (to foreign businessmen and other nuns, apparently).

I've included a link to a clip in which they discuss relics, including Shrouds from Turin, numerous works of carpentry produced by Jesus (including pipe racks and coffee tables), not to mention an array of body parts belonging to Saints. Edmund coins on fairly quickly that none of it is genuine, which dismays Percy. He claims to have a genuine relic in the form of a finger bone of Jesus, which even Baldrick is amazed at...because they normally come in boxes of ten.

Richard Curtis has gone on record saying that the first season is more akin to sketch comedy, and this is a key example of this. It's a relatively self-contained sequence, which doesn't really need what happens before or after to back it up. However, it's still a great sketch. I think this was an early look at the historical satire the show would later become famous for in subsequent seasons. I also think it's great to see Edmund on top for once.

Although I'm not too sure about the four ducat curse they had on offer. Yes, he has turned orange in hue, and I'm sure God will hate him and all of his kind, but I'm still waiting for his head to fall off at an inopportune moment. I might have to ask for my money back.

I'll see you tomorrow for my second pick from The Black Adder.

Best Blackadder Moments

Well, I'm halfway through Freshers' week, and I thought I might take a bit of time to do some blogging.

I've mentioned before that one of my favourite TV shows is Blackadder. Well, a couple of weeks ago, a Twitter page was asking people for their favourite Blackadder moments. I couldn't decide on a single moment, but instead picked two from every series.

With that in mind, I decided to go into more detail. Starting tomorrow, I'll be sharing my two favourite moments from all four seasons of Blackadder. Yes, even the first season.

Watch this space. I have a cunning plan.

Western Weekend - Three Amigos

I recently saw the movie Game Night, and decided that I wanted to do another Western Weekend. Go figure. Anyway, I always rated The Magnificent Seven as one of my favourite western films. So, I decided to take a look at the story again, but this time with a comedic edge in the form of Three Amigos.

Taking place in Mexico in 1916, the village of Santo Poco (Little Saint) is being periodically raided by the bandit El Guapo (The Handsome), played by Alfonso Arau. The village leader's daughter Carmen, played by Patrice Martinez, goes search of gunfighters willing to protect the village and learns of The Three Amigos, a trio of wandering gunfighters from a popular series of silent films: Lucky Day, Dusty Bottoms, and Ned Nederlander, played respectively by Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, and Martin Short. Having just been fired by their studio for demanding a raise, the Amigos receive Carmen's telegram, but misunderstand the message due to the low budget for sending it.

And that's the over-arching joke; the misunderstanding. The villagers believe the Three Amigos are real gunfighters, while the Amigos believe that El Guapo is another actor and they're being asked to do a show with him. I think it's an interesting set-up, and that it's inevitably going to fall apart. Which arguably results in a pretty good dramatic moment.

I do like the characterisation of the Amigos. Lucky is presented as the most charismatic, and serves as the overall leader. Dusty comes off as the most dim-witted, which is saying something as none of the Amigos are particularly smart.  My favourite though has to be Ned. Not for his comedic moments, but for the fact that he is actually the most badass. When the misunderstanding comes to a close and the Amigos are ready to leave in disgrace, it's Ned who wants to go after El Guapo. I also quite like El Guapo and his henchman, El Jefe (The Boss). They get a ton of hilarious lines (you might say a plethora), and El Guapo's birthday celebration provides the backdrop for a hilarious infiltration being ineptly carried out by the Amigos.

However, I do have to reserve some criticism for the section when the Amigos are travelling to El Guapo's hideout, which features a rather bland musical number and some jokes which delve into fantasy involving a singing bush and an invisible swordsman. While the jokes are quite funny (lip balm?), the overall segment could have been cut as it doesn't do much to advance the story.

While the comedy sometimes falls flat, it's nonetheless a good story, and worth a watch.

Review: Disenchantment

Well, I'm due back in work tomorrow and I've been having something of a lazy weekend. So, in order to look productive, I thought I might write about the Disenchantment series which debuted on Netflix the other day.

Disenchantment is an animated sitcom by Matt Groening, who has also brought us The Simpsons and Futurama. Taking place in a fantasy world, we follow Bean, the princess of Dreamland. Who is anything but the image of princesses made famous by Disney. She's a hard-drinking and rebellious teenager who is always getting into fights, mostly with her overbearing father, King Zog.

Bean is often accompanied by her two closest companions, Elfo and Luci. Elfo is an elf of the candy-making fairy tale variety as opposed to the Tolkein variety, who left his perpetually happy but soulless homeland to see the world. He has a kind heart, but his sheltered life often makes him come across as naive. He looks an awful lot like Bart Simpson while his personality is similar to Fry. Meanwhile, Luci is a catlike "personal demon" who was sent to Bean under the guise of a wedding present. He shamelessly serves as a sociopathic enabler (which doesn't take much effort, considering Bean), and is very similar to Bender. This does mean that there is plenty of bickering between him and Elfo, who acts as more of a moral guardian.

As this show is on Netflix, there is a lot more adult humour than what Matt could get away with if he was writing for terrestrial television. Personally, I was worried that this was going to be a fantasy version of Futurama, what with Elfo and Luci being similar to Fry and Bender, but I was surprised to be proven wrong. One of my favourite jokes involves King Zog's habit of throwing his sceptre out of the window when he's angry. He has a collection of sceptres for the occasion, and most of them are embedded in a tavern which Bean frequents. Which is called 'The Flying Sceptre'.

There are plenty of other laughs, but there are also times when the show gets really dark. One of the teasers show Elfo encountering Hansel and Gretel, who intend to eat him. They have the typical house made of confectionery, but the basement looks like something straight out of a horror film. One running plot thread involves Zog tasking his wizard and alchemist Sorcerio with obtaining elf blood to make an elixir of life. This starts out with some humour, with a switch pulled by Luci resulting in the chauvinistic Prince Merkimer being turned into a pig. Oh, and that's Matt Berry doing the voice of Merkimer, essentially reprising his role as Douglas Reynholm from The IT Crowd. However, it later takes a different turn which results in some new character depth.

That's one of the other things I love. Unlike most sitcoms, Disenchantment uses a serial format. While each episode presents their own comedic hijinks, the overarching story is a lot more dramatic, and has so far ended on a very gripping cliffhanger.

The first ten episodes are available on Netflix, and I'm waiting for the next lot already.

Swanwick 70

Once again, that wonderful time of year has passed. No, not Christmas, but my annual visit to the Swanwick Writers' Summer School, held every August at the Hayes Conference Centre in Derbyshire since 1948. Once again, I was able to indulge in a week of camaraderie, writing, sharing ideas, and wine. A lot of wine.

Anyway, I'll give you the breakdown of the courses and events I attended.

The A to Z of Novel Writing

Out of this year's selection of four-part specialist courses, I was torn between Simon Hall's "The A-Z of Novel Writing" and Della Galton's "Scribe a Short Story". Now, I normally write short stories, but I intend to do a series, so I figured that the novel writing course would suit me better. I wish I had Hermione Granger's time-turner so I could attend both.

The course structure was exactly what it says in the program; We went through the alphabet, fitting in something relating to writing with each later, from Adversity (faced by characters) to Zeroes and Zeniths (faced by authors). This included a few tasks to plan out a crime or romance story set at Swanwick. I was assigned to do a romance, if you're asking.

The Secrets of Sitcom

A new art movement

Sunday's short course was "The Secrets of Sitcom", hosted by Daniel Page. Now, I've mentioned previously on this blog that I've been making rough notes on a fantasy sitcom. It was an idea so bizarre I had no choice but to consider it. Well, this course was about how to structure a sitcom, what makes them work, and how to make a "monster" who always gets the short end of the stick. I even managed to pitch my project, and it seems to have a lot of potential.

Although it does mean having to compete with that Disenchantment series which has just debuted on Netflix.

Creating Believable Characters

On Monday, I attended Veronica Bright's course in which she talked about the Enneagram. This is a study of nine basic personality types, with the positive and negative aspects of each type, their primary motivators or passions, and where certain traits overlap. The Enneagram's model is a lot easier to visualise that the Myers-Briggs model, and I drew parallels to the Theory of Basic Human Values devised by Shalom Schwartz. I wouldn't be surprised if Schwartz drew influences from the Enneagram.

Veronica has actually written a book on this topic, and her course intrigued me enough to buy a copy at the Book Room. I've just started reading it, and look forward to making use of it in my future projects.

Wild Words

I didn't go to any of the workshops on the Tuesday, which is known as the 'Procrastination Free Day', but on Wednesday I attended Bridget Holding's "Wild Words" course. I've attended Bridget's courses each time I've been to Swanwick, looking at the philosophical and psychological sides of writing. The first session looked at comparing creativity and writing to tracking a wild tiger, using the distance between you and the tiger as a metaphor for the amount of emotion put into a story. This involved a task in which attendees were put into pairs and told to discuss something from their past, while the other person tries to gauge what emotions the speaker conveys and when.

In the second session, a caged tiger was used as a metaphor for times when the writer is unable to be creative, and how it can bloom. Considering the events of the past years, I actually related to this a lot. I struggled to fit my writing around a full-time job and vented in all the wrong places, which brought with it some consequences in the form of a dismissal for gross misconduct. Nonetheless, I've managed to make the best out of a bad situation and gain some direction from it. Anyway, there was another exercise in which people were asked to read out stories they'd written, and people were once again asked to gauge the emotions.

World Building

Rounding out the short courses was Paul Beatty's look at world building. This was certainly the most scientific of the courses, looking at the aspects of world building in four tiers: Physical aspects, plant life, animal life, and intelligent life. There were also debates about each of the aspects, and which genres benefit the most from world building.

Other Events

Swanwick isn't just about the courses. There is an array of evening events, along with some special events this time around to commemorate the 70th anniversary of the School, including a massive group photo on the lawn. There are after-dinner speakers every night, but I tend not to go to those, preferring to use the time to write. There's something very tranquil about sitting in the quiet bar with a glass of wine and letting the words flow.

Monday night had a fancy dress disco, with a 1940s theme this time around. That's great, because I can pass off as a 1940s-style pulp writer with my regular work clothes. Hey, dress for the job you want, not the job you have. On top of that, there was a less wild Tea Dance on the Tuesday afternoon. I think my minimal dance repertoire has improved this week, and I was only drunk for one of those. Although I still haven't perfected the Macarena yet.

Other evening events included poetry and prose open mic nights (which I didn't take part in), a busker's night (ditto), and a general knowledge quiz which I did take part in and managed to get my team into second place. My folks and I enjoy Mastermind and try and get more than fifty points every night, so I guess that paid off. I was also marginally involved in the Page to Stage performances as a back-up cameraman.

The final night featured a dregs party in which I once again suited up, a formal dinner, and a farewell event in the main hall with raffle prize draws, Page to Stage awards (Swannies), and a sing-song. Including John Lamont's famed "Swanwick Anthem" based on a Proclaimers classic.

Well, I've rattled on for a bit and will wrap things up. Once again, it was great to see everybody again, and meet new people. I look forward to coming back next year.

Happy writing.

Asterix Marathon Bonus - The 12 Tasks of Asterix

I've still got a day or so before I go to Swanwick. In the meantime, I thought I'd do another review. Since I spent the past month reviewing the Asterix comics, I figured I'd take a look at The 12 Tasks of Asterix, an animated film released in 1976. Now, I mentioned during the marathon that I wasn't going to look at the film adaptations. However, I've decided to make an exception here for two reasons: Firstly, this film is not an adaptation of any of the albums, but has an original story; secondly, it serves as a finale to the series.

The animated films actually had a rough start. There had been an animated adaptation of Asterix the Gaul back in 1967, but Goscinny and Uderzo weren't fond of it. To the point that they refused to allow an adaptation of Asterix and the Golden Sickle to be made. Nonetheless, they saw the potential and decided to make their own animated adaptations, starting with Asterix and Cleopatra in 1968. If you want something done right, you do it yourself. Anyway, let's look at the story.

After repeated failures to conquer The Indomitable Village, rumours spread around the Roman army that the villagers are gods. This reaches Julius Caesar, and he decides to test this hypothesis. If Asterix and Obelix can successfully complete a series of tasks akin to the Labours of Hercules, Caesar will relinquish control of Rome to Vitalstatistix. If they fail, the Gauls must surrender. So, it's up to our heroes to complete the tasks while observed by Caius Tiddlus.

Since this story was written and directed by Goscinny and Uderzo, the film retains the signature humour of the comics. On top of that, it utilises more fantasy and also takes a rather surreal tone in places. While this is a major shift from the tone of the comics, I'm pretty much OK with that. I especially love how bored and deadpan Caius Tiddlus sounds when he gives them the tasks.

My favourite moment has to involve our heroes venturing into "The Place Which Sends You Mad", which is not a forbidden forest or sinister cave (that was the previous task), but a municipal office. Their task is to obtain a "Permit A-38", but the bureaucrats are intentionally unhelpful and the place is labyrinthine. I can kind of relate to it, once having had to submit an application for a premises license which had to be hand delivered to five different places. While it differs from the previous tasks, it takes a cathartic satirical jab at how bureaucratic some places can be, and shows how much Asterix can be a guile hero as well as an action hero.

I could describe a lot more of what goes on, but some of the things in this film have to be seen to be believed. It's available on Netflix UK, and I do recommend you check it out.

Asterix Marathon - Wrap-up

I didn't have a menhir

Phew, that took a while.

I've really enjoyed doing this marathon, because it was great to revisit the Asterix stories I read as a kid, gaining a new appreciation for them in the process, while also reading the volumes which passed me by.

Rather than do a top five, I figured I'd pick my favourites from each period of the series, maybe with a few honourable mentions.

The Early Period (1959-67)
The first three comics in the series were simply Goscinny and Uderzo trying to find their feet in terms of humour and drawing style, but they really picked up with Asterix the Gladiator. Many regarded Asterix and the Banquet as a step back due to the more insular humour, but the series really took off with Asterix and Cleopatra. However, I think my favourite story from this period has to be Asterix the Legionary.

The Post-Protest Period (1968-79)
This was when the series truly peaked, with Goscinny incorporating more adult satire. We looked at the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports (Asterix at the Olympic Games), recession (Asterix and the Cauldron), urban planning and the labour movement (The Mansions of the Gods), election campaigns (Asterix and Caesar's Gift), and economics (Obelix and Co.). I loved the bleak prospects of Asterix and the Cauldron, and the more adult humour of Asterix and the Laurel Wreath, but my pick from this period has to be Obelix and Co.

The Solo Period (1980-2009)
With Uderzo acting as writer and illustrator, these stories were released more sporadically, so there's not as many to choose from. There's also a lot more experimentation in these stories, which sometimes pays off. I'd say my favourite has to be Asterix and Obelix All at Sea for its darker story and truly poignant moments. But I also rate Asterix and the Black Gold and Asterix and Son.

The New Period (2013-)
It's not easy to find one's feet when taking over a well-established series. Ferri and Conrad needed to hit the ground running, and they managed it. Since there's only three to choose from, I'll simply say that the best story at the time of writing was Asterix and the Chariot Race. They seem to be releasing albums every two years now, so I guess I'll be obligated to review the next one when it comes out.

Anyway, thank you for joining me this past month, and I'll be posting again soon. It's now August, which means I'll soon be going on my annual visit to Swanwick.

I'll post the write-up of my third visit soon. In the meantime, happy writing.

Asterix Marathon #37 - Asterix and the Chariot Race

I'm almost at the finish line. Which is rather appropriate, considering the story.

Lactus Bifidus is the senator responsible for maintaining the Roman roads, but he's not very good at his job. To hide this fact, he organises a multi-stage chariot race from Modica (Monza) to Neapolis (Naples), open to all peoples. Caesar agrees on the condition that the Romans must win. Meanwhile, Asterix and Obelix are taking Geriatrix to a dentist in Darioritum (Vannes), when Obelix has his fortune read and is told that he will become a fine auriga (charioteer). Fearing the collapse of the traditional menhir trade in favour of pumice ones, he buys a chariot and learns of the Trans-Italic race. He and Asterix sign up, competing with charioteers from all around the world while trying to best the Roman team, led by the masked charioteer Coronavirus.

I think this is the best story of the New Period so far. Similar to Asterix and the Banquet, it takes us on a tour of Italy, although it focuses on the city's landmarks rather than regional stereotypes. There's a lot of tension and intrigue as the race progresses, with our heroes initially being a cause of contention due to an early blunder, but Asterix is able to diffuse the situation by saying that the Romans are a common enemy. More successfully than Brian of Nazareth, this unites the other teams with the exception of the unscrupulous Cimbri charioteers, Zerogluten and Betakaroten.

I love the diverse array of characters Ferri has created for the race. There are too many to list, but I'd like to share my favourite examples:

• Kweenlatifer and Nefersaynefer are two princesses from Kush, a kingdom in southern Egypt which is now Sudan. Obelix thinks Kweenlatifer likes him from the looks she gives him, but her hieroglyphic dialogue reveals she thought Dogmatix was cute. Their chariot is pulled by zebras.
• Tekaloadov and Wotaloadov are a team of Sarmatians from the Eurasian Steppes, serving as the Asterix world's equivalent of Russians. The letters in their dialogue are reversed, they refer to the Roman war god Mars as "Marx", and the emblem on their chariot is a bear.
• Normans Skinnidecaf and Gamefralaf get homesick due to good weather and civilisation.
• There's a running gag in which the Lusitanians (Portuguese) Undaduress and Bitovamess are constantly falling behind due to chariot repairs.

In addition to the diversity of the contestants, there's also diversity with the Italians, rather than having just Romans. Like in history, Italy is inhabited by Umbrians, Etruscans, Ligurians, Samnites, Calabrians, and others, many of whom are not fans of Rome.

The action's great, the characters are great, the humour is great. I think this one was a great story to end on, and I look forward to seeing what these people turn out in the near future.

Also, I'm curious about that Garum stuff which is sponsoring the event.

Asterix Marathon #36 - Asterix and the Missing Scroll

Now that they'd managed to find their feet with Asterix and the Picts, Ferri and Conrad decided to do something more political for their next story.

Caesar is set to release his memoir, The Commentaries on the Gallic War, and his publisher Libellus Blockbustus removes a chapter detailing his failure to conquer The Indomitable Village in the hopes that the Senate will forget. However, one of the publisher's scribes, a mute Numidian called Bigdatha, leaks the chapter. It ends up in the hands of a Gaulish activist named Confoundtheirpolitix, who soon seeks shelter in The Indomitable Village. The initial plan is for the "newsmonger" to lay low in the village until the Romans abandon the search, but Impedimenta persuades Vitalstatistix that they should make the chapter public. Since the Gauls favour oral history over the written word, it is decided that Asterix and Obelix should accompany Getafix to the Forest of the Carnutes to seek out Archaeopterix, a senior druid with the memory to "record" the chapter.

In case you haven't realised yet, this story is based quite heavily on the Wikileaks scandal, exploring censorship and freedom of information. There's also a satire on the culture of sharing knowledge online. The village has a herald called Wifix who reads out bulletins to the mostly illiterate residents, and they believe quite strongly in horoscopes. In fact, Obelix becomes rather disheartened when his horoscope says he should avoid conflicts and go easy on the boars. On the other hand, Geriatrix is excited when his horoscope says his high spirits will be appreciated and he should expect new conquests, which earns him a death glare from his wife that would put a Corsican to shame.

I quite like how Ferri and Conrad have retained some of the fantasy elements which Uderzo incorporated into the series during the Solo Period. The Forest of the Carnutes, which previously appeared in Asterix and the Goths, is now revealed to contain unicorns, which Obelix mistakes for "wild goats". They also meet a druid called Anachronistix, who can communicate with animals using his flute, which he uses to help stall the pursuing Romans.

I think this is another good one, but I have the feeling it won't age well.

As for the hidden chapter? Once it's passed on to the druids, they pass it down through the generations. By the 1950s, a descendant of the druids relays the oral history to none other than our old friends Rene Goscinny and Albert Uderzo, who use it as the basis for these comics.

Asterix Marathon #35 - Asterix and the Picts

After Uderzo's retirement in 2011, a new creative team would share the adventures of our favourite Gauls. The "New Period" of the series began in 2013 with the release of Asterix and the Picts, written by Jean-Yves Ferri and illustrated by Didier Conrad.

While searching for oysters, Asterix and Obelix encounter a man encased in ice washed up on the beach. Getafix determines from the man's attire and tattoos that he's a Pict from the land of Caledonia (present-day Scotland). The Pict is thawed out, but has lost his voice and struggles to express himself through sign language, yet carves a map to his homeland on a menhir. An elixir brewed by Getafix allows him to communicate through Scottish folk song lyrics. Eventually, he is able to speak normally long enough to introduce himself as Macaroon, and explain that he needs to get him to reunite with his love, Camomilla, daughter of the late king. Unfortunately, his rival Maccabaeus had him cast out, and plans to wed Camomilla to secure his claim to the throne, enlisting the aid of the Romans. It's up to our heroes to save the day.

I have to admit that I'm impressed at how well Didier Conrad has managed to replicate Uderzo's drawing style. Sure, there maybe a few subtle differences here and there - everyone seems to have more "puppydog" eyes - but the character designs are pretty much the same. I also like how Ferri's writing style is closer to Goscinny's wit. The story is a rather simple one, but that's not really an issue.

My favourite scene has to be the exposition scene which happens when our heroes encounter the pirates during the voyage to Caledonia. It's this point when Macaroon regains his voice and introduces himself, right as their boat is alongside the pirate ship. Obelix wants to fight the pirates before he hears Macaroon's story, while the pirates vehemently protest that they want to hear the story first. The Pict gives his info-dump while they're fighting, prompting the pirate he has in a headlock to blow his nose on the Jolly Roger, claiming "soppy love stories churn me up". To top it all off, Obelix claims in the aftermath that he doesn't understand and wants him to repeat everything. This in turn prompts the pirate captain to ask for a quick summary, thinking he'll get beaten up again.

In the vein of the series stereotyping, the Picts toss cabers (which Obelix is eager to try), drink "malted water of life" (Scotch whisky), and have their names prefixed with "Mac". The Loch Ness Monster also appears, which Obelix thinks is a giant otter after Macaroon describes its behaviour.

I'd be bold enough to say that I enjoyed this one, and am looking forward to reading more of Ferri and Conrad's stories in the near future.

Asterix Marathon #34 - Asterix and Obelix's Birthday

I think I should have held off a year before doing this marathon, then I could possibly look at a Diamond Book as well as a Golden Book. Commemorating the 50th anniversary of Asterix's debut in Pilote, Uderzo released Asterix and Obelix's Birthday in 2009.

Like what it says on the tin, it's our heroes' joint birthday, and The Indomitable Village is holding a celebration along with many of the characters from the previous albums. And that's about it. Like Asterix and the Class Act, this is simply a collection of short stories. However, rather than present it in an anthology, they try and connect the stories to the birthday celebrations. It's similar to Monty Python and the Holy Grail, in that it's a series of vignettes connected by a loose narrative.

With that in mind, let's look at some of my favourite bits. I think the best joke is at the beginning, where everyone in the village has aged fifty years. Unhygienix is disappointed that his son has been selling local fish since taking over the family business instead of importing them. Asterix has a large family, while Obelix is depressed over how much has changed. Uderzo shows us and explains what he did, and an uppercut from Obelix prompts him to revert back to the standard time-frame of the comics. Talk about breaking the fourth wall.

The Phoenician merchant Ekonomikrisis (from Asterix the Gladiator and Asterix and the Black Gold) gives our heroes a travel guide written by Lucius Circumbendibus, a former legionary and wheel magnate with whom they crossed paths in Asterix and the Chieftain's Shield. The text of the guide had originally been written by Goscinny, and Uderzo adapted it with a few panels from previous comics along with some additional illustrations.

Also attending is Laurensolivius, who led a theatre troupe in Asterix and the Cauldron until his arrest. It's surprising to see him attending, as he was due to be sent to the Circus Maximus in Rome, and was actually excited by the thought of dying for his art. Anyway, his vignette includes a few preliminary sketches from Asterix and the Actress, presented here as if they were outtakes.

A few antagonists show up as well, so it's kind of nice to see a few buried hatchets. For example, Squareonthehypotenus, the Roman architect from The Mansions of the Gods presents suggestions for an Asterix theme park (that's actually a thing). We also see Prolix, the fraudulent seer from Asterix and the Soothsayer, who envisions an art gallery dedicated to our heroes, allowing Uderzo and a few guest illustrators to make Asterix-themed pastiches of other famous works of art. Caesar even attends at the behest of Cleopatra, due to owing our heroes a debt of gratitude for protecting baby Caesarion from the power-hungry Brutus in Asterix and Son.

One notable absence was Orthopaedix, the Lutetian innkeeper who contested the village leadership in Asterix and Caesar's Gift, but his teenage daughter Influenza appears, and may be an item with Justforkix, the nephew of Vitalstatistix who visited in Asterix and the Normans.

There's not really much else which can be said. A series which can keep going for almost sixty years has to be doing something right. This would be Uderzo's final contribution to the series. The veteran illustrator retired in 2011, saying that he would be passing the torch to a new creative team.

Asterix Marathon #33 - Asterix and the Falling Sky

Aliens? Really? I can see where Kingdom of the Crystal Skull got it from. A lot of folks thought this was going to be the finale, with the cover being a mirror image of the first album, and the reference to the falling sky. This recurring line in the series is based on a quote from Gallic chieftains telling Alexander the Great that the only thing they feared was the sky falling on their heads. Anyway, let's take a look. I've procrastinated enough.

The Indomitable Village is visited by the Tadsilweny, a race of aliens from "a galaxy of fifty stars". Led by Toon, they have come to the village to confiscate their magic potion in order to prevent it from falling into the hands of their feared rivals, the Nagma. Soon enough, the Nagma arrive, and their Cyberats battle Toon's Superclones. Until they declare a truce and both decide they want the magic potion.

I think Uderzo was using this story to establish Asterix's position in the competition between the American and Japanese comic industries. The Tadsilweny represent the Americans, with the name being an anagram of Walt Disney. Toon's design bears a resemblance to Mickey Mouse while the Superclones look like Arnold Schwarzenegger dressed as Superman, with a mention of Bat and Spider forms. Uderzo is obviously throwing his hat with them, as there's a dedication to Walt Disney at the end of the album. That said, he does take the opportunity to take a stab at Bush; Toon's mission to confiscate the potion is similar to the pretext surrounding the Iraq War. On the other side of the coin, the Nagma represent the Japanese manga industry. I don't think Uderzo was keen on manga.

To be fair, I think Uderzo really wanted to explore this matter, but there wasn't really a good way to incorporate it into Asterix. He's already been to America, and I don't know what stories he could be involved in to go to Japan for, so using extra-terrestrials to illustrate it would seem like the best course of action. As I've said already, when you have a long-running series, you have to experiment.

Unfortunately, I don't think it paid off. There seems to be more emphasis on the conflict between the two alien races, so the Gauls often feel like bystanders. And there's not much really done which advances the story or the characters, because Toon erases their memories at the end.

This would be the last album of the Solo Period, or at least the last full story. Uderzo would return to work four years later to commemorate the character's 50th birthday. I'll talk about that one tomorrow.

Asterix Marathon #32 - Asterix and the Class Act

This one is slightly different, as it's not actually a single story but an anthology of shorter stories which appeared in Pilote and other magazines inbetween the main albums. Since it appears in the omnibus editions I've been reading, I might as well look at it.

The stories are as follows:

1. Asterix and the Class Act (written in 1966) - It's the beginning of the school year, and Getafix recruits Asterix and Obelix to round up the village children. However, Obelix's ignorance of current events means he has to attend as well. This would later be used as a story element in Asterix and the Secret Weapon.
2. The Birth of Asterix (1994) - To celebrate 35 years of Asterix, Uderzo released a story depicting the birth of our heroes. It shows most of the main characters as children, with young Vitalstatistix and Fulliautomatix getting into a fight. When their fathers confront each other, it triggers a fish fight which soon attracts Astronomix and Obeliscoidix, who have been sent away while their wives are in labour. There's not much to it, but it's funny to see how the Gauls' love of a punch-up is passed through the generations.
3. In 50 BC (1977) - A short world-building piece published in National Geographic to introduce the series to the American market. Again, there's not really much to it, but I do like the idea that they advertise Fulliautomatix as the ancestor to most music critics.
4. Chanticleerix (2003) - The village rooster gets into a fight with an eagle, and Dogmatix borrows a gourd of magic potion to help the national bird of France defeat the symbol of Rome. Alright then. The animals can communicate with each other perfectly, and it's revealed that Obelix can understand them as well.
5. For Gaul Lang Syne (1967) - Obelix tries to use a New Year custom of kissing under the mistletoe to steal a kiss from Panacea. That's...creepy. They play the custom for laughs as the Gauls have to kiss everybody who passes under the mistletoe, regardless of gender. Could this mean that Goscinny and Uderzo could claim the invention of 'shipping'?
6. Mini Midi Maxi (1971) - A commission made for the women's magazine Elle, in which Mrs Geriatrix showcases Gaulish fashion. Except Impedimenta is angry that she wasn't chosen as the "First Lady of the Village", provoking a fish fight. She makes the remark "I'm a celebrity! Get me back in there!". This could be a reference to the reality show, I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!, suggesting that the story was first translated in 2003 when this anthology was released. I wonder what she said in the original French.
7. Asterix as You've Never Seen Him Before (1969) - Uderzo experiments with different drawing styles based on fan critiques. I especially like how he satirises the content of the fan letters with his responses. For example, a professor from the University of Nantes sent a telegram saying the stories were too long, there was too much dialogue, and not enough simplicity in the drawing. Uderzo responds with an eight-panel comic imitating the style of Peanuts. And everyone says "stop" all the time. I wonder what Uderzo would say if he read these reviews. I'm sure there are plenty of typos he could make fun of.
8. The Lutetia Olympics (1986) - Uderzo was commissioned by the mayor of Paris to do a poster and a short comic as part of the city's bid for the 1992 Summer Olympics. Asterix and Obelix are recruited to protect the head of the Olympic Comittee as he visits Lutetia, after it is decided that the Olympics are to be held outside of Greece, which angers Caesar. I love the committee member's monosyllabic diagolue, and he looks like he'd rather be somewhere else. Until our heroes thwart a kidnapping attempt by Roman agents. Unfortunately, Paris lost the bid to Barcelona.
9. Springtime in Gaul (1966) - Asterix and Obelix meet an anthropomorphic personification of Spring, and give him the magic potion to defeat his Winter counterpart. It's an unusual concept for something like Asterix, but considering the winter we had this year, I can really relate to it.
10. The Mascot (1968) - A group of legionaries kidnap Dogmatix to use him as a mascot. There's not much to it, but it does establish how much Obelix loves his dog. Do not separate them if you value your legs.
11. Latinomania (1973) - In response to the rise of English slang in French language (Franglais), Goscinny and Uderzo produced a single-page comic in which the Gauls start using Latin words in everyday conversation, until Getafix chastises them and gives them the dictionary definitions which don't roll of the tongue as well. Also known as Etcetera.
12. The Obelix Family Tree (1963) - This one might be my favourite of these stories. Goscinny and Uderzo are travelling in Brittany and have a chance encounter with a modern-day descendant of Obelix. After making conversation, they invite him back to Paris to the offices of Pilote. But the menhir causes problems.
13. The Birth of an Idea (1962) - A single-page comic in which Goscinny and Uderzo are sitting outside a cafe and trying to deal with writer's block, when they have ideas for fight scenes. The dialogue is comprised entirely of unintelligible whispering and laughter, but their body language conveys the ideas going through their heads really well.

Phew, that took a while. Well, when you have a long-running series, there's always room for experimentation. Sometimes it will pay off, sometimes it won't. But there's nothing wrong with that.

What will they think of next? The village gets invaded by aliens?

Asterix Marathon #31 - Asterix and the Actress

Hmmm...I'm not too sure about this one.

It's Asterix and Obelix's joint birthday, and they both receive surprise visits from their mothers, Sarsaparilla and Vanilla. Our heroes are presented with an ornate golden sword and helmet which belonged to Caesar's rival, Pompey. Their mothers then try and persuade them to find wives, and try to arrange dates. Meanwhile, their fathers are arrested in Condatum (Rennes) for taking the sword and helmet from Tremensdelirius, the perpetually inebriated ex-legionary from Asterix and Caesar's Gift. Pompey then sends the actress Latraviata to recover the treasure, having her pose as Obelix's old flame Panacea. It's only a matter of time before Panacea and Tragicomix learn of the arrest and race to The Indomitable Village to inform them of what's going on.

The only trouble is that it takes a while to get there. The wife-hunt plot thread doesn't really go anywhere, and there's a scene in which Asterix gets concussed after calling Obelix fat during one of their once-per-episode quarrels. He's given the magic potion, and then starts leaping around like a drugged-up Super Mario. It's a bizarre sight, but it feels like padding. Our heroes don't learn of their fathers' imprisonment until about three quarters of the way into the story.

There are a lot of callbacks to Asterix the Legionary as well, such as the civil war between Caesar and Pompey, the return of Panacea and Tragicomix, and the fact that Obelix thinks "being polite"  is a euphemism for violence. It was originally from a joke where Asterix wanted to ask a patrol for directions to the recruiting office, and chides Obelix for clobbering them. Later, Asterix is forced to uppercut an uncooperative guard, prompting Obelix to remark that he doesn't see the difference between his and his friend's "politeness". This time around, Obelix asks if he should be polite to a guard, and Asterix gives him the go-ahead.

OK, so it's a recycled joke, but I still enjoyed it. I also like a line in which Asterix explains the collapse of the Triumvirate which led to Caesar's civil war. His explanation takes up a whole panel, and Obelix doesn't understand it. Except for the simple fact that (altogether now) "These Romans are Crazy!"

Speaking of catchphrases, I found out that in the Italian translations of the comics, they altered Obelix's catchphrase so he says "They're crazy, these Romans!", which is translated as "Sono pazzi questi Romani!" Which has the acronym SPQR (Senātus Populusque Rōmānus - The Senate and People of Rome). That's the motto of Rome, which is still in use today.

While I do quite like to see our heroes interact with their families, I think this was one of the weaker ones.

Oh, and Dogmatix finds a mate and raises a litter.

Asterix Marathon #30 - Asterix and Obelix All at Sea

I wonder if Kirk Douglas is fan of the comics...

Admiral Crustacius has managed to lose possession of Julius Caesar's personal galley, after the slaves manning the oars staged a mutiny. Under the leadership of the impressively-dimpled Spartakis the Greek, the mutineers travel to Armorica to seek asylum in The Indomitable Village. Meanwhile, Obelix gives in to his curiosity and drinks a second cauldron of magic potion, which turns him to stone. Getafix's attempts to counteract the effects successfully revive him, but also turn him into a child. Unable to adjust, the young Obelix is captured by the Romans, who seek to use him as a bargaining chip in a bid to hand over Caesar's galley. Asterix and Getafix set out after Crustacius with the mutineers and rescue their friend. In a bid to restore him to normal, they sail on to Atlantis, the people of which inhabit what is believed to be the Canary Islands.

Personally, I love this story. It explores one of the biggest what-ifs of the series. It's established that Obelix fell into the cauldron of magic potion when he was a baby, and as a result is has a permanent effect on him. This also means Getafix refuses to give him any more whenever he doles out the potion, as he fears the side effects. It's when they have a fight with the Romans and notice that Obelix isn't with them that they realise something's amiss.

This surpasses Asterix and the Cauldron as one of the most serious stories in the series. We're treated to panels of Asterix maintaining an all-night vigil at Obelix's side while Getafix tries to brew an antidote, and he starts expressing self-doubt. Even after Obelix is revived, it doesn't let up. He can only manage a single boar in one sitting, and he can't lift menhirs or bash the Romans like he's used to. He's lost the ability to indulge in his greatest pleasures, and his failure to accept this results in his capture.

Meanwhile, the pirates get a bigger role in this story, rather than a throwaway gag. They get sunk by our heroes when they go after Crustacius, but then there's a ship swap after Obelix is rescued. Our heroes take over the admiral's galley, while the pirates take Caesar's galley back to Rome to hold for a ransom, along with Crustacius and his vice-admiral Nautilus. And because our heroes left their barrel of magic potion on the galley, there's a great pay-off to that subplot.

So, it's a good story, but it lacks the humour of the series and is also quite depressing.

Asterix Marathon #29 - Asterix and the Secret Weapon

I get the feeling that Uderzo had some strong views about feminism. Maybe he wanted to try and emulate Goscinny's talent for satire. Maybe he was pressured by the fans to try and develop the female characters. One thing leads to another, and I don't think this one really paid off.

The women of The Indomitable Village have called to replace Cacofonix as the schoolteacher, prompting him to leave. Not long afterwards, his replacement arrives; a female bard from Lutetia named Bravura. Not long after her arrival, she begins holding classes for the women, and her teachings start to develop rifts between them and their husbands. Meanwhile, the Roman agent Manlius Claphamomnibus is sent to Gaul with the eponymous secret weapon; an all-female unit of legionaries, taking advantage of Gaulish gallantry in that they will never fight a woman.

Not very secret, I know. A lot of the humour in this one simply revolves around gender stereotypes. Those kind of jokes you could get away with in the Nineties, when this album was published, but they haven't aged well. As for the story, it borrows a lot of elements from Asterix and Caesar's Gift, with an outsider prompting a leadership challenge in the village.

My main issue with this one is Bravura. She's what you might call a "straw feminist" who believes in gender superiority rather than gender equality, and merely exists to be proven wrong. She influences the village women to essentially take over, and make Impedimenta the chieftain, which results in Vitalstastix leading an exodus into the forests. She also makes some rather questionable advances on Asterix.

Now, to be fair, there are some moments which still make me laugh, cringe-inducing as this particular comic turned out to be. The women of the village set up a shopping mall to defeat the secret weapon, and Claphamomnibus tries to recruit the standing garrisons. Because Obelix feels sidelined, Asterix encourages him to follow the agent, so he can single-handedly clobber the garrison at Aquarium. After they're leaving, Asterix makes a comment about his friend not flattening the camp completely, when someone sneezes and the fortifications collapse.

Sorry, this one wasn't really my cup of tea. I think Rick and Morty explored this kind of story a little better.